The Journeys of Pami, RN

A Quick Update on Lynette

2012-02-11T06:25:00.000-08:00

When I saw Lynette's name on the roster for Friday prenatals, my eyes eagerly scanned the crowd for her face. I called her number and impatiently waved my hand for her to come sit by me. I was desperate to know what her second ultrasound revealed. I clasped her hand within mine and asked if she had been able to get the scan and she nodded slowly, reaching for a brown envelope to give to me.

I pulled out that white sheet of paper, my heart racing with dread and hope simultaneously. The sonologist remarked that the baby boy was only 28 gestational age (roughly 7 months) and had a grossly enlarged left ventricle in his brain, indicating hydrocephalus - or extra fluid in the brain. The uterus was also filled with too much fluid.

As horrid as this sounds, I was thankful. Anencephaly is a certain death sentence. Hydrocephaly is not. I explained what her ultrasound possibly meant and asked her to be sure to show the results to Mavis when her number was called. Then we briefly prayed together. (I'm still puzzled by what I saw on the screen when I scanned her compared to what the ultrasonographer saw.)

I later asked Mavis what she had decided to do: during her exam, Mavis felt two strong, definite contractions...much too early for labor! If the second ultrasound had confirmed anencephaly, we may have tried to deliver her at our birthing home because no amount of money, of which they have very little, could save this baby's life. However, if it is truly hydrocephalus, there is a good chance the baby could survive with advanced medical attention and equipment. She was referred to the Philippine General Hospital as they are the best institution for dealing with this sort of thing. I hope her family was able to scrounge together the resources to take her. Room and services are free, but all medications and medical equipment must be paid for in advance.

Please pray for Lynette and her little one. I have no way of knowing if she did deliver, if her baby still lives, or if she made it to the hospital. But God does.

Anencephaly

2012-02-03T04:24:00.000-08:00

As wonderful and fun as last Wednesday was, is as heart-breaking as today was.

I was referred to scan the belly of Lynette to determine if her nearly due baby was breech. I got her situated on the bed and palpated before placing the probe. It seemed like she could be breech, because the only firm structure I could palpate was at the top (fundus) of the womb. Although that structure felt more like the rump than a skull.

I placed the probe on her swollen tummy and immediately saw a beautiful beating heart. I scanned up to the top of the womb and saw a baby boy and his rump. I brought the probe down to where the head should be and was puzzled. I couldn't see a skull, just some mush at the bottom. It looked like there could be some sort of hard structures, but it was very small and oddly shaped. This is the first time I'd seen something like this. My heart sank into my toes.

I scanned the rest of the little one and his body looked perfect. I just couldn't get over it. My probe kept going back to the head, trying to see if I was wrong.

I finished up the scan and had Lynette sit on the bed. I explained to her that I wasn't certain, but it looked like there may be something wrong with the head of her baby. I asked her if she had the money to get a second opinion ultrasound at a lab we have a relationship with (they give our patients a good discount). She nodded yes with very round eyes. I asked if I could pray with her and she eagerly asked me to. How do you pray in a situation like this? How do you pray in a foreign language when your heart is so heavy.

My heart breaks for her. If her baby isn't anencephalic, then there is something else that is wrong with the skull. Nothing can ever prepare a mother for this type of diagnosis.

Nothing.

Please pray for Lynette tonight. She should have gotten her second opinion ultrasound today, but I haven't heard the results. I may never know. But God does.

a full circle

2012-02-01T03:55:00.000-08:00

Mayette was a gal who was referred to me last week for an ultrasound who was quite large, but had been breastfeeding her first baby so we didn't have an accurate way to determine her due date. That was supposedly my job...

I went through the preliminary questions and then placed the probe on her swollen belly. The baby looked beautiful with a good sized noggin and was most definitely a boy. I talked with her about labor, but she had been through it once before so I kept it brief. We closed in prayer and off she went.

Fast forward to today - I returned to Shalom this afternoon after a leisurely lunch and saw Mayette groaning on the bed. She was our only active labor. I kept watching her out of the corner of my eye as I chewed the fat with Mavis.

Hmmm...she's getting pretty restless!

The 2pm midwife came on duty, took one look at her, and asked for sterile gloves while Mavis scrambled for her record. (The other midwife was out of the room sterilizing instruments.) Because we also had no nursing students at that moment, I grabbed a pair of gloves and prepared to assist. I was still putting them on when I heard the sharp cry.

I raced over in time to help place the little guy on his mama's chest, dry him off, and snuggle him up skin to skin. In about 10 minutes, he was happily sucking away, warm and dry, safe and secure, finally in the arms of the one who carried him inside for 9 months.

Praise God for easy deliveries like this one!

After an hour, I grabbed a photo with Mayette, her mom, and little Kean Mike. What a cutie!

...a funny thing happened

2012-01-17T02:46:00.000-08:00

The other day I was in the middle of a slew of new patient interviews, when a lady excitedly comes up to me. She looked to be about 6-7 months pregnant and says in Tagalog, "Ate Pami, I am Ate Doris' niece and she was wondering if you stitch."

This struck me as odd for a few reasons: a) she knew my name ("Ate," pronounced "ah-tay" means big sister or is used as a friendly sign of respect) b) who is Ate Doris? and c) that's kind of an odd question to ask when meeting someone for the first time...

During new patient interviews, we always ask about previous deliveries and complications, such as tears, hemorrhaging, long labors, and stitches. So when she asked if I stitch, my mind immediately went to stitching a torn perineum. I looked at her in confusion and replied (in Tagalog), "No, I don't stitch, but the midwives do."

She said, "no, Ate Doris is wondering if you have stitches to do."

By now we had a bit of an audience listening in. Sure that I was having a hard time understanding her because of some language barrier, I asked her to speak to one of the midwives inside. We went in together, and the midwives were busy so we talked to the other American nurse. Again...same problems. I said that we, at Shalom, only do stitches to torn perineums but not in first aid situations.

"No!" she said emphatically, "Ate Doris wants to know if YOU need stitches!"

Um, I most certainly do not! I thought. What in the world?!? Then it dawned on me that she kept saying, "kortina," which means curtains.

hahaha!!! The lightbulb switched on! Ate Doris is the lady who had sewn my curtains months ago. Everyone around me burst into laughter as we finally figured out what she was trying to say.

You see, the Tagalog word for "sew" and "stitches" is the same: "tahi." My mind was so fixed on obstetrics that it never entered my mind that this gal could have a different meaning for "tahi." I was a bit gratified to see that everyone else was just as confused...it wasn't just me!

So you see, never a dull moment. And for the record, no, I do not need stitches: personally or on fabric. :)

Update on Neni

2012-01-06T01:53:00.000-08:00

A number of folks have asked me about Neni...

Please be praying. She missed her last prenatal appointment for December 30th and there is no way for me to get in touch with her to encourage her to come back. It's not all that uncommon for women to miss scheduled visits over the holidays, because many go back to their provinces.

Please pray that Neni will come for a prenatal check soon and that her heart will continue to soften and grow.

In other news, I arrived at Shalom this morning for prenatals and saw a familiar face smiling proudly up at me from a cot on the floor. Marivic, a gal I scanned twice for a large for gestational age (LGA) baby, had given birth to a healthy baby boy! She beamed as she pulled back his blanket for me to get a closer look at his little face while he peacefully slept by her side. I wish I had had my camera with me! I squatted by her side and appropriately oohed and aahed over her little one. Such sweet times.

It's been a busy week for us. Over 70 new patients came for the first time this week...mostly because who wants to get started with OB care during the holidays. But still, SEVENTY! We ain't slowing down anytime soon, folks!

Just another Manila New Years...

2012-01-01T07:10:00.000-08:00

Rather than me trying to explain a Pinoy New Years...someone who has seen it dozens of times, I'm going to refer you to Joy's post. She came up to spend New Years with me and blogged her experience.

Read it! :)

Random Medley

2011-12-18T04:09:00.000-08:00

Today I lost my perfect attendance score at my regular church to attend a Thanksgiving service at a church in the slums. Oh wait, I was never in the running for that perfect attendance...oops. Anywho, it was a fun and unique morning.

I've gotten into discussions with several missionaries about the Philippines love for celebrations. Do churches in the US really celebrate church anniversaries? Mine does, but not very many do. Here it is a BIG DEAL. Literally a marathon all day event with prizes, bands, food, several sermons, games, and the list goes on. There are also thanksgiving services which are usually different than anniversary services, but just as BIG a DEAL.

When I arrived at the town center's covered basketball court, the party was just starting. I was welcomed by a greeting committee of 8 ladies in bright pink and white shirts. As the sole foreigner and as the guest of the guest speaker (Philippines director of Compassion International), I was given a seat in the front row, much to my chagrin. I really dislike sitting in the front row because I stand out enough as it is...and I have to really watch my p's and q's in order to avoid making a cultural faux pas. But it is an honor so I try to do my best to be grateful.

Soon, we were serenaded by the local school's xylophone marching band. I was surprised to hear them playing the US Marine Corps Anthem, then tickled as they transitioned into Auld Lane Syne, then laughed out loud when it smoothly switched to My Heart Will Go On. Only in the Philippines!!!

It was such a neat service with all the different kids' groups performing dances, skits, songs, and even giving testimonies of God's provision for them. Because this church partners with Compassion International, many of the kids were sponsor kids. Let me just say once again how impressed I am with Compassion.

After the 4 hour service, the director of Compassion came with me to visit Shalom. There might be an opportunity to partner with Compassion to provide the prenatal care and delivery for women enrolled in their Child Survival Program. This is a neat program which follows little ones from in utero to 3 years old, at which point they are enrolled in the regular sponsorship program.

Right now there are no churches in our area partnering with Compassion, so please be praying for a nearby church to meet the criteria for Compassion enrollment. It would be so neat to be able to directly partner with this amazing organization to really impact our nearby communities.

Below is an example of the truly unique Pinoy xylophone marching band that I found on youtube. Awesome or what?

Josh & Neni

2011-12-09T05:36:00.000-08:00

When they walked in the door for an ultrasound I had to do a double-take. We've seen young girls at Shalom before, but this gal was still a child! She was beautiful, but her body was definitely not fully-developed. Her face was innocent and she had a wide-eyed look about her. She was wearing pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, holding her medical record in one hand and a motorcycle helmet in the other.

Her boyfriend was with her and it was all I could not to stare at him in disgust. His hair was spiked, his guyliner was thick, his earring winked proudly, and he had this toughened, yet bored look about him.

I called Neni to the ultrasound room and Josh hung back. I firmly asked if he wanted to come, leaving no doubt to my expectation. He was going to see this new life he had helped create if I had my say. I took a bit of history and learned that Neni is 14 and Josh is 19. He was the one with the motorcycle...the same motorcycle responsible for breaking Neni's arm last spring. Neni is so young that her body hasn't had time to regulate her monthly cycles and so it was difficult to accurately date the baby. My job was to determine the gestational age so we could set a due date.

My heart was heavy, half-way hoping there was no baby for the sake of this girl. As I placed the probe on her belly, I looked over at Josh and he had this hardened expression on his face with his arms folded defiantly on his chest. The urge was strong to get up and smack him, knowing that in the US, his actions would land him in jail for statutory rape. However, I smiled at him, praying that God would soften his heart.

As soon as my probe touched her belly, a little beating heart showed up right away. Yes, there was a baby. It was still very small, but I showed Neni all the parts of her little one and her face at first showed disinterest, then slowly transformed to curiosity, then wonder. She hadn't felt the baby moving yet, so I'm sure she was in some sort of denial that she was pregnant at all.

I took the necessary measurements and estimated her due date, scheduling her for a repeat 4 weeks later. I tried to educated Neni as best as I could, but I could tell her heart still wasn't really in it and Josh was shifting uncomfortably in his chair. I asked if I could pray for them and Neni shyly nodded yes while Josh glanced furtively at the door. Afterwards, Josh moved the fastest I'd seen him walk to get out of there.

Today was the 4 weeks follow-up. I was somewhat surprised to see Josh back with Neni, but thankful. Perhaps his heart had softened? Or maybe he was her only transportation? Or maybe he was controlling? I don't know.

Without much ado, I started scanning Neni's new little bump and was happy to see an active, kicking baby. The baby was growing well and it's size confirmed my earlier guestimation of her due date. This time, while I tried to educate Neni, I included Josh as much as possible. Neni's blood test from earlier had shown a hemoglobin of just 9.0. In the US, that's nearly grounds for a transfusion! I discussed diet and put much of the responsibility on Josh to make sure he took part in caring for his girlfriend and new child. I closed once again in prayer.

Please pray for this young couple. Neni seemed more somber today, as if reality is sinking in. She had to drop out of school when she broke her arm, then opted not to go back when she got pregnant. I'll be honest, I walked out of the exam room fairly depressed, feeling like my head is uselessly beating against the wall. Josh seemed just as prideful, but I know deep down he must be terrified.

There is some hope, knowing that he has a motorcycle, which means that there must be some money in his family...though how he comes by it I have no idea. But please pray that God will continue to soften their hearts and prepare them for parenthood. Please pray for family support as well. Neni is now living with Josh and his family, a common practice here. And also pray for compassion and hope for all of us caring for her. Thanks.

M is for Makulit

2011-11-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting conversation with a 31 year-old G3 P2 this morning. As we discussed her due date, she asked, "Am I really due in February?"

"Yes." I confirmed. "February 27."

"But the baby could be born in March, right?" she asked.

"Well, yes. It usually comes anytime two weeks before or after the due date," I replied.

"Ok. I hope it's March." At this point, I must have had a puzzled expression on my face because she gave me an exasperated look and said, "Because babies born in February are all makulit!" (Makulit means mischievous, into everything, and generally creating mayhem.)

Before I could stop myself, I gave a little laugh and then asked why she thought that. "Everyone knows that! All the children I know who have been born in February have been makulit."

Huh. Learn something new every day.

:)

Donuts for the Dead?

2011-10-31T05:10:00.000-07:00

At first glance, the deja vu was incredible. Big grassy knolls, portable shade tents, picnic foods, guys playing frisbee, and even the hotdog vendors brought all those Memorial Day weekend memories rushing back. But wait, something about this scene was different. It was at a cemetery!

What!?

All Hallows Eve (Halloween) and All Saints Day are a big deal in the Philippines, not for cute little fairies, batmen, and witches tromping to your doorstep singing out "Trick or Treat!," but because it is a day that people make an annual pilgrimage to the cemetery to pay "respects" to their dead ancestors. Anything from candlelight vigils to full on barbeques take place. People leave flowers, Krispy Kreme donuts, KFC, and even beer cans for the ancestors to enjoy. It is such a big deal here that both days are non-working holidays. And any experienced foreigner has learned to steer clear of all cemeteries to avoid major traffic jams.

In a way it's humorous to think that people believe this helps their ancestors (I mean, a donut? Really?), but at the same time it's sad. As a Filipino said, we should be giving them the flowers while they're alive. Yes, it's cultural more than religious, but it's also a good indicator of the amount of fear some people live in. To constantly live with the fear hanging over one's head that an action might anger a dead ancestor can be absolutely debilitating, and it is for many of the folks we work with. Many old practices (what we call "old wives' tales) are continued for fear of upsetting a spirit and causing harm to the family, often at the cost of the health and development of a newborn baby, something I see all the time.

So please pray for us as we try to bring them the love of Christ that casts out all fear. It's a delicate balance to bring it in a culturally sensitive way.

Raising the Uterus

2011-10-14T21:32:00.001-07:00

I'm going to go out of sequence with my Palawan story-telling to post something that happened yesterday...

I've recently started doing ultrasounds for patients on my own, after being trained by a wonderful Swiss doctor. I just do the very basics: check for all major body parts, take measurements to get approximate gestational age, determine placenta placement, how the baby is lying, how many babies are inside, etc... I don't check for organ defects or other tricky issues. I normally scan 4-5 women in the afternoons following a prenatal morning.

Mavis approached me yesterday morning while I was checking hemoglobin levels, if I thought I should scan young Jolly who had been to a hilot with inappropriate size for dates.

A hilot is your run-of-the-mill village healer. This can be a witch doctor, a traditional birth attendant, the wise lady, abortion inducer, etc... They often do more harm than good and this appeared to be the case with Jolly.

That afternoon I sat down with Jolly and her boyfriend to get the story. It turns out she is only 19, but miscarried in February at 3 months. When she got pregnant again, she was pressured by her family to go to the hilot to "raise her uterus." Huh? I asked her how she went about doing this and apparently the hilot uses deep pelvic pressure to "massage" the uterus up, basically jabbing her hands into the lower belly while applying upward pressure. Supposedly this painful process helps prevent a miscarriage.

This prompted a quick anatomy and physiology lesson to explain how things work down there, and the danger of deep manipulative pressure during pregnancy. I also explained that miscarriages at three months are common if there are major defects or problems with the developing fetus. Jolly was very receptive and eager to do whatever was best for her baby.

Then we got on with the ultrasound. Her baby was extremely active and sucking it's thumb. I have so much fun pointing out basic anatomical features of the baby and the wonder in the mama's eyes never gets old. Her little one looked healthy, but a bit big for her dates. My guess is that she got pregnant a month before she thought. This happens quite a bit as women mistake their last period for implantation bleeding which happens at about 4 weeks. (PS - this picture is from the web, but you get an idea of what it looks like...)

I'm going to scan Jolly again in 4 weeks to make sure her little one is growing appropriately and confirm her due date. Please pray for Jolly, her boyfriend, and this new little one growing in her tummy.

Compassion International

2011-10-05T23:02:00.000-07:00

Today was probably the most exhausting day of the trip (I'm writing this a week after the actual day). We were supposed to see 1500 Compassion International kids for their annual medical check-up. We arrived at the center where the kids meet every Saturday for kids' club to a full yard of kids waiting. What cute kids!

On first glance, these kids were day and night from the kiddos we'd seen over the past two days. Unlike the others, the Compassion sponsored kids were nourished, looked healthy, and had radiant smiles on their faces. Talking with them later, they could carry on a good conversation with me, look me in the eyes, and just had such a sense of inner joy. I was amazed at the difference. If I had ever doubted the effectiveness of child sponsor programs, all doubts stopped today. I am a firm believer now!

We were told there weren't going to be many prenatals as we were focusing more on the kids today. So I prepared to sit next to an MD and jump in. However, it soon became clear that perhaps someone could specialize in talking to the girls with "girly issues," and since it's such a sensitive topic, especially at that age, as a Tagalog speaker I fell into the role. I loved being able to dig deep into some of their fears in their own language. But no matter the language, teenage girls are teenage girls...no matter the country or culture. It is always neat to empower these girls about their own bodies and the unique needs and strength that women have.

I also helped a couple of the surgeons translate for their patients, such as the all important, "holler if it hurts!" after the lidocaine has been given time to work.

I haven't really mentioned my best coworker of the week. Jenni is a clinical nurse specialist (CNS) in education and used to work at the labor and delivery unit manager for a time. She brought a wealth of information and it was fun to learn from each other as the week went by. One of my favorite times was watching Jenni bring in whole families and talk with everyone about a specific person...such as the need to eat the right food, or practice good dental hygiene, or getting enough sleep. I've read about the family approach in textbooks, but hadn't really seen it in practice. Way to go, Jenni! (And a big thanks for the NRP and Fetal Monitoring textbooks!)

We worked until early evening, pulling out the emergency lights to help the doctors sitting at tables outside. We worked for about 30 minutes this way before the organizers realized that it was a lost cause. It was hard to turn kids who had waited a few hours to see us, but we couldn't keep going on empty.

Later over a light dinner, people started to spontaneously debrief and it became obvious we were worn down and at the third day hump. Were we doing any good? Was seeing 1500 kids in one day even possible? At what point were we perhaps compromising our medical judgment just to get through the day and as many kids as possible? Having been on the mission field for over half my life, I like to think I've gained a bit of perspective. It's not about diagnosing a hidden disease...after all, it's not until symptoms appear that diseases get diagnosed even in near perfect medical offices. Today was about seeing kids. Smiling. Touching. Encouraging. and sharing joy. A stethoscope placed on the chest wasn't just about listening for an irregular heartbeat, it was about showing that kid that they matter and have incredible value. I spoke up and shared this with the group... Most of those kids will never meet their sponsors who send in $30 a month...to them, we were the faces of their sponsors. And that matters deeply.

We then started praying and encouraging one another. The night ended on a positive note as we fell into our beds before our last day of medical outreach.

Napsan

2011-10-04T21:16:00.000-07:00

The road today started out the same, but then we made a right turn onto a very bumpy dirt road for an hour and a half. If I'd had a jar of whole cream, it would have been butter by the time we arrived! We stopped several times for a potty-in-the-bushes break, a nausea break, a clear-the-giant-rocks-from-the-road break, a climb-out-of-the-van-so-it-can-make-it-over-the-muddy-hill break, and a crossing-through-the-river break before we finally arrived at the local community center. (pic of our military escort jeep bringing up the rear of our convoy. We road in the vans again, not these jeeps, FYI)

The dental and dermatology teams were set up in the existing midwifery rooms, while the medical team was set-up in little huts outside. In addition to medical/dental, there was counseling and hair-cutting provided by Life Church. I loved the open air feel of it all.

The highlight of my day was meeting a local young midwife towards the end. I commented on how amazed I was at the patient from yesterday who knew to take her iron with vitamin C. She got this big grin on her face and said, "that's my region and I'm the one who teaches them that! I learned it from a missionary birthing center in Davao." Stunned, I asked her for the name, and it turns out it's Mercy Maternity, the same center I visite d in May. Not only did she spend time at Mercy, but she is the daughter of a helper (aka housekeeper) of legendary missionaries, Steve & Dottie St Clair...good friends of mine. It just warmed my heart so much that the work we do as missionaries MATTERS! This was the long term effects...the stuff that we normally never hear about and just have to trust God that He is continuing.

Another sweet time was after the clinic was over. We were all exhausted. It had rained during the middle of the day, which made things muddy and miserable for a time. The team members had worked tirelessly completely out of their comfort zone. As we were wrapping up, I noticed some of the kids playing a team building game in which they all put their left foot on one plank and their right on another. Ropes are attached that are used to lift the planks and you all have to step together, as in "1-2-3-LEFT! 1-2-3-RIGHT!" Some of the docs and nurses decided to race a group of the kids. What a sight! A group of Americans and Filipinos, laughing, falling, and speaking the same language of FUN. (picture "stolen" from Life Church)

The day ended on a sweet note as I ate dinner with long time friends, Bill & Donna Davis. My folks and the Davises both arrived in the Philippines in 1981 and went through language school together. They have both just celebrated 30 years here.

Tomorrow we start out medical outreaches with Compassion International. 1500 kids in one day. Yikes!

Inagawan

2011-10-03T23:41:00.000-07:00

One thing I will never understand is people who willingly wake up before the sun. My body just is not wired that way... *sigh*, but when the alarm went off at 4:45am, I dragged my body from the sheets and blindly dressed and painted on a face. (Isn't it amazing how sluggish one can be in the early morning? I wonder if any adult has fallen back asleep brushing their teeth? Anyone?)

After a quick breakfast of rice, beef strips, and copious amounts of decent coffee, we piled into the same 15 passenger vans. (Note, these are typical US sized vans but with extra seats jammed in.) After an hour and a half of driving through stunning countryside, we pulled up to a village school in Inagawan, a Geographically Isolated and Depressed Area (GIDA). Our medical clinics were to be the kick-off for a huge environmental, sustainable agriculture, medical, and outreach project of our partner church, Life Church. I loved this part of the week, we weren't just dropping a Gospel bomb, there was going to be critical follow up!

The school was set up nicely for a medical outreach with the triaging in one of two courtyards and a waiting area with live entertainment set up in the other. The various classrooms were occupied by the docs, dermatology/minor surgeries, dentists, etc... They weren't expecting to have some nurses qualified to do basic prenatal exams, so we got placed with the minor surgeries for privacy. I actually didn't mind because it was more quiet, a bit off the beaten path, and I loved keeping tabs on what kind of surgery was happening across the room.

I was SO impressed by the ladies I saw. We had copious amounts of prenatal vitamins to pass out, so before I handed a pack to one preggo, I asked if she was already taking something. Iron with Folic. Great! (The Philippine Gov't has really gotten the ball rolling for handing out free iron and folic to all pregnant women through their community health centers) As I gave her the vitamins, I instructed her to take it with her biggest meal to avoid stomach upset. She then said, "But I take my iron at dinner time with a big glass of calamansi (lemon) juice, should I take it at the same time?"

WHAT?!?! What women knows and volunteers the info to take iron with vitamin C, especially in a small, rural village like this? Absolutely unheard of. I really encouraged her to keep taking the iron and C at night, but take the prenatal vitamin with breakfast. Later I snapped a picture with her, her cute-as-a-bug's-ear daughter, and the other nurse, Jenni.

My favorite surgery was on a middle-aged man who had a grapefruit sized sebaceous cyst removed from his right buttocks. How in the world did this man sit with that thing? I cannot imagine living with that thing for years as he did.

While we were treating the sick, another team was doing community service, painting a little native hut to be used as a classroom for the high school students. They were supposed to be building high class playgrounds they had shipped from Hawaii, but the mafia run ports kept slapping them with all sorts of "fees," even though they had all the correct documents. Now we're praying it gets released in time for the follow-up trip next year! :) Here's a picture taken by one of the team members.

After we finished seeing over 1000 people, we got back to our hotel and showered and got all dressed up for a fancy-shmancy dinner with the mayor of Puerto Princessa. It was a delightful dinner that he couldn't attend due to other obligations, but after sitting through 30 minutes of a powerpoint presentation regaling all the good he had done for the city (do I sound ungrateful? sorry), we got to see a wonderful cultural show put on by an award winning group.

Again, LOUD or LOUDER. I wanted so badly to turn the speakers directly at the sound men and give them a sampling of the pain they were inflicting.

Tomorrow is a 5:30am departure time... (thus the reason I am writing all these posts a week later and adjusting the post date...haha!)

Palawan Trip Day One

2011-10-02T22:30:00.000-07:00

I got an email the day before my flight that due to a Philippine Airlines strike, our flight had been bumped up from 8am (nice) to 6am (horrid). This meant that I had to wake up 3:15am to get to the airport on time. BUT, I was so excited to go to Palawan (an island in the Philippines, NOT Hawaii!), that I didn't care...well, maybe not too much!

But let me back up a bit. Last June, I shared in my church about the building project at Shalom (blog here). A week later, an American approached me who had newly arrived in the PI and was looking for opportunities to get involved in local missions. He was excited that I could speak the language because his church back home in Hawaii, First Presbyterian of Honolulu, was sending a huge medical and pastoral team out in October and could he pay my way for me to join them. He thought that only good could come out of having an American nurse who could speak Tagalog on the team. I got the appropriate approval from my agency and purchased tickets.

When I arrived at the airport, I was surprised at the size of the group - TWO tour buses full of mostly haoles. It turns out there were folks from First Pres, Aloha Medical Mission (non-faith based), an Arizona dental office crew, and a few odd balls who heard of the trip and joined...like me. I sat by a dermatologist and nurse on the plane and just got so excited about their stories. The nurse was an 80+y/o retired nursing instructor! Talk about gumption and guts!

When we arrived in Puerto Princessa, the capital of the island, we were greeted by a tiny airport with one baggage claim thingy, a shell necklace, and the beautiful smiles of our "buddies," selected youth from the partner church who would act as our tour guides, liaisons, and friends for our week. We were piled into 15 passenger vans (think NO leg room!!!) and brought to our beautiful hotel for a buffet breakfast and orientation. After, we were given the option of attending church or resting. Let me tell you, after the 3:15am wake-up call and knowing the grueling week before us, the message on "dreams and visions" at Bedside Baptist was amazing! ;)

The afternoon consisted of unpacking and sorting meds, a mandatory souvenir trip, followed by a major outreach event that evening. As much as I love Filipinos, I have never understood their need to rupture ear drums at big events. Being the honored guests, we were of course placed right up front and center, just by the speakers. I'm not sure how well our hands over our ears were received, but we DID have to listen through stethoscopes the following day!

We all fell into bed that night, warned of our 6am call-time for our first day of medical clinics. Sweet dreams!

Layers

2011-09-30T03:16:00.000-07:00

One of the things that MKs (missionary kids) get really good at is saying hello and goodbye. We don't necessarily LIKE saying it so much, but it's a fact of life. Our lives are layers of acquaintances, friends, relatives, and even relative strangers (pun intended). There are the folks I grew up with on the mission field from all over the world, my Biola days, my study abroad in London days, my nursing school days, church friends, work friends, and now back on the mission field.

There are times when I see someone and have to think hard for a minute to place them. Where do I know them from? What's really weird is when you see someone out of context, like a church friend from the US who suddenly shows up at my church in Philippines.

I think the greatest challenge comes in maintaining those friendships from all the layers. When life gets so busy, we (I) tend to live in the moment, and it's hard to remember the incredibly important people in my life who may not be a phone call or quick drive away. These people have had such amazing influence in who I've become and they STILL mean so much to me.

So for those of you reading this, I'm sorry if I haven't been as faithful in sharing life with you. Please never doubt for a moment how very much I miss you all. A busy life helps take out some of the sting, but each goodbye is just as painful. So when you get a chance, please send me an email or catch me online. I miss you!

getting creative

2011-09-26T06:57:00.000-07:00

One of the things we at Shalom are really promoting is 100% exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months and supplemental feeding for up to 2 years and beyond. Formula and potable water are just so expensive and impractical here that there's no reason NOT to breastfeed. (And every single study shows it's best for babies in all social stratas!)

So what do you do when you are donated 120 brand new cute t-shirts that have a big ole' baby bottle on the front?

You get all corny and cheesy and do this. It's looks silly but at least I feel like we're not compromising our breastfeeding campaign!

...a time to weep

2011-09-15T04:22:00.000-07:00

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die..." (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a).

I love the first part of the second verse, "a time to be born." That is what our work at the birthing home is all about. We help during that time to be born. But we really dislike the second part of the verse, "a time to die." There aren't supposed to be deaths at a place where life is introduced to the world. And yet it is inevitable.

The maternal mortality rate for the Philippines according to the World Health Organization is 1 for every 500 deliveries. And Antipolo, the city where we serve, has an even higher rate than that. If Shalom were in keeping with this statistic, we would have a death every 2-3 months. Last week, we had our 3rd maternal death in over 19 years. The fact that we have such an incredible track record doesn't make the few deaths we do have any easier. It is still unspeakably difficult to have a mom die.

And yet, we cling to promises that God is in control of life, He is sovereign, and He works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, even when the process of that "good" hurts terribly. Please pray for all of us at the birthing home as we grapple with that hurt. Please pray Isaiah 26:3 for us, "You keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in You." Pray that when the doubts come raging in, we would cling to the promises we know in our heads, but sometimes forget in our hearts. Please pray that we would grow stronger and closer as a team who are seeking to show the love of Christ to a hurting and oh-so-vulnerable group of people. And please pray for the family of the mother who died, that they would come to know Jesus as their Savior, Provider, and Sustainer during this time of intense loss.

Thank you for your prayers. I cannot emphasize this enough. When the tears were pouring last week, I took great comfort knowing that I have a powerful group of people praying for me and the work at Shalom. I fully believe I am sustained by God through the power of your prayers. They work. They matter. They help. Please keep them coming!

Visitor!

2011-09-03T07:44:00.001-07:00

Today was a big day for multiple reasons:

1.) I spent 5 hours sitting in bumper to bumper traffic that I will never get back

2.) I FINALLY cleaned my office/guestroom and it's mostly organized and functioning. I FINALLY took the empty boxes up to the garbage to get carted away. I FINALLY assembled/spliced/put together light bulbs in all my closets and cabinets to keep away mold.

3.) and best of all, I picked up a sweet friend from the airport who will be staying with me for the next month. Joy (her blog here) is a single American RN and a CPM (nurse and midwife) who is working and living in Davao. Joy and I connected during my trip to Davao last May and I am so excited to have her staying with me. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to have another single missionary to talk, laugh, vent, and maybe even cry with. There are things that we single gals go through, especially on the mission field, that only another single gal can possibly understand.

<---Joy & I at an outreach in Davao last May

On the ride home, Joy and I were both commenting how much we need this. Joy has come out of an especially stressful season and is looking forward to the break from the routine. She is here primarily to work with Dr Scott, the missionary doctor I've mentioned before...but she's also here for some time away to focus more on her walk with God. I know I could certainly use some more intentional times in the Word.

So why did I spend 5 hours in traffic? Manila Water brilliantly decided to tear up the ONLY road out to our area and leave just 1 lane of traffic for each direction...during rainy season, of course, which means they can only work on it for a few hours a day. Like I said, brilliant.

The Need to Be Right

2011-08-29T06:11:00.000-07:00

One thing that I have always struggled with is the need to right. Perhaps this comes from being the youngest and so often having to prove myself or perhaps this just comes from being human. If I'm right, I want everyone to know it, by gravy! It's not just enough for me to quietly to know that I'm right, everyone else needs to recognize that I'm right too.

It was a story by James Herriot that made me realize how much of a problem this is for me. Dr Herriot was a country vet in Yorkshire, England back in the post-war era (that is, WW2). I've always loved his stories, such as Moses, the Kitten. In this latest story, he tells of Mr Pickersgill, a distinguished country farmer who loved to throw big words because he was edjumacated during his "college days," a two-week basic agricultural class at Leeds University. He called on Dr Herriot because his cows kept suffering from "them masticks." (Mastitis) The vet realizes that the cows are suffering because Mr Pickersgill is so forceful when he pulls on the teats to milk them. However, he can't tell the dignified man that without insulting his intellect. Then he realizes that Mr Pickersgill is suffering from lumbago, a painful back condition that is caused by bending over to milk the cows. In a moment of brilliance, Dr Herriot suggests that perhaps his should stop milking the cows to stop the pain and leave it to his daughter, NOT to cure the cows' mastitis. Mr Pickersgill happily agrees, but suggests he try a cream his beloved professor back from his "college days" recommended to help his cows. Dr Herriot knows it won't work, but rather than insult this man, he is willing to let him believe that the harmless cream is what solved the mastitis and not the traumatic milking of Mr Pickersgill.

This would be like swallowing straight apple cider vinegar for me. I would have a hard time letting someone else believe they were right, and yet it is my own pride that wants to be recognized. In Dr Herriot's story, the man's dignity is saved and his cows are cured of their recurrent mastitis. I admire that and need to work on that more in my own life...especially when I am dealing with more experienced nurses/midwives and also dealing with cultural differences between me and my patients.

PS - if you ever get a chance to read some of Dr Herriot's writings, do! They are loads of fun...great mind resting books. :)

Must be some sort of record!

2011-08-16T04:35:00.000-07:00

I don't know the record for how many prenatal check-ups Shalom has done in a single morning, but we must have been close today. 141 ladies. That's right...141 blood pressures, 141 fundal heights, 141 fetal heart tones, 141 weights...yikes! Praise God we had some very welcome guests to help with the blood tests of about 40-50 of those ladies so I could go and help check these ladies out to speed things along. And then of course we had a delivery of a sweet new life in the midst of it all. :)

In other news, one of my sending churches, Whittier Area Community Church, sent out 25 handmade baby quilts to be given to the needy moms. We pair these with donated baby clothes and this gift means a lot to the families. Most likely, this is the first real quilt these women have ever seen and will become a treasure.

If you are interested in how you can do something like this, such as sending blankets, used baby clothes, and other items needed at the clinic like IV cannulas, please send me a message through the tab above or write me an email. :)

As usual, here are some photos!

La Familia!

2011-08-13T05:24:00.000-07:00

The very much anticipated day of August the 4th finally arrived, my brother, his wife, and their three kids FINALLY arrived in the Philippines for their pre-field visit. This is the brother that we always knew would want to come back to the Philippines as a missionary (I was the surprise sibling who decided to come back). We eagerly grabbed some balloons, a bouquet of flowers for my sister-in-law, and headed to the airport.
So. Much. Fun. We've had a blast reminiscing with my brother and showing his family the country that is such a key part of our family. While they're here for over two weeks, we only get to spend a few days with them as the purpose of their visit is determine what their roles will be at Home of Joy and not play with us the whole time.
But it's been SO good to get squishees, kisses, and extra long hugs.
Please pray for them as they seek the Lord on how He will use them in their areas of expertise. Home of Joy is an orphanage that is highly respected by the Dept of Social Welfare but could use some help in the area of behavioral therapy and getting the kids caught up developmentally after much abuse and trauma. (My brother is a behavioral specialist and my SIL is a Christian educator. Both trained at Biola.)
Here are some pics from their first three days:

Meeting at the airport!
(that is the string to a balloon around my niece's wrist)

Playing at the new pool of our alma mater, Faith Academy

A visit to the largest American War Cemetery outside of the USA

Holding the hand of mannequin wearing traditional Filipina formal wear

Life changes a little bit

2011-07-09T06:15:00.000-07:00

I've learned a new acronym: TIP. In the movie "Blood Diamonds," they use the phrase TIA, which means This Is Africa as an explanation for things that just don't make sense to an American mind. The same applies to TIP: This Is the Philippines. Now, some of the things don't necessarily have to do with culture or frustrations...but there are times that it just hits me in unexpected ways that I'm not living in Southern California anymore. For example:

Being delighted by the fireflies dancing about INSIDE my bedroom as I nod off to sleep
Watching my housemates' cats pounce on the 20-30 termites flying around my living room while I try to read
Trying to figure out how in the world to line-dry my clothes when it rains for days on end
Getting frustrated with local farmers using the national 2-lane highways to dry their rice, causing countless near-accidents while trying to avoid driving through their only livelihood

A missionary friend is trying to teach the locals about crop spacing by carefully spacing corn in order to yield larger crops. One local said, "Wow! Those ears are HUGE," after seeing the beautiful results. After explaining why they were so big, she just shakes her head and says, "Just imagine how many you could have gotten if you'd planted more in that space!" Sometimes you just have to laugh and say, T.I.P.

Nordstroms?

2011-07-02T04:57:00.000-07:00

It's time for another update...past time.

I moved out closer to the birthing home last week and have been scurrying around trying to set up a house, from buying a fridge (called a "ref" here), waste baskets, toilet paper, and the like. Though I couldn't bring myself to buy rags...too much of an oxymoron. Things are slowly coming together and it's feeling more like a home. Curtains are next.

One young gal at the clinic broke my heart. Jing* is just 21 and expecting her first. I was preparing to get a blood sample to test her hematocrit when she asks me in flawless English, "Are you from the US?" Surprised after speaking only Tagalog to her, I switched to English and said yes.
"California?" Again, yes.
"Why?" I ask.
"I used to live in Irvine*."
My jaw dropped as I stared at her. To my knowledge, we've never had a patient who has lived abroad! Turns out she was living with her father, uncle, and aunt. She got a job at Nordstroms* and was adjusting to life in the US when her uncle started making advances at her and eventually abused her. When she confronted her aunt about it, her aunt denied it and she was forced to leave the US and return here. Her family has shamed her because she failed to survive in the US and now she is staying with her new boyfriend, who is the father of her baby, barely eeking a living. So much hurt.
We had 3 Master's College girls with us during this day, 2 who are studying Biblical Counseling. I asked them to speak with Jing as they are her age and just came from California. I was so thankful for them! They were able to spend far more time with Jing than I could have.
You can bet I'll be watching for this sweet girl for her future visits. Would you pray for her?

The presentation at GCF regarding the building project went really well and I'm trusting the Lord to move in the hearts of those who heard.

To those in the USA, happy Fourth of July! I hope you enjoy the long weekend and yummy grub! :)

(*names changed for obvious reasons*)

urgent prayer request!

2011-06-23T22:06:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, we submitted a funding request to a large church in Manila where several of us attend. This was specifically for the building project (I hate that word, makes me thing of yet another mega church building an even bigger monstrosity!)

Anyways, it was very well received and two of us (Ruth Ortiz and me) have been asked to speak in all four services THIS SUNDAY, inviting the congregation to join our project through funds, volunteers, and of course prayer. We'll be showing a video and then speaking for about 3 minutes. This is incidentally missions Sunday as well.

I'm really excited about this opportunity because it's Filipinos helping Filipinos. I love that. The money for this ministry doesn't all have to come from the US, Canada, England, etc... There IS money here, and I really hope that we can get the local church excited about this ministry.

Please, please, please pray that it is well received. There is no realistic way to portray how desperately we need the new building...just try to imagine 120 prenatal check-ups in 6 hours with a couple deliveries tossed in there...all in ONE SMALL LIVING ROOM! You know that unpleasant feeling of sweat running down your chest or standing up from a chair and feeling like you sat in a puddle of water because your pants are wet from sweat? Yeah...we need that new building.

Who makes the decision?

2011-06-10T19:44:00.000-07:00

One of the things that I've discovered, especially since working at the birthing home, is that in this culture (and apparently most South Asian cultures) the mother-in-law rules the roost, big time. If a mother-in-law tells her son's daughter that she needs to wear socks for the first 3 months after giving birth so she doesn't catch a chill and get sick, she doesn't question, she obeys. Or that she's too stressed out and her breastmilk is spoiled so she needs to formula feed, she obeys. Or that evil spirits might enter the baby through it's umbilical cord stump if it's not tightly wrapped with a belly-band, she obeys.
I don't want to give the impression that mother-in-laws are evil, because they're not. But they are mostly uneducated and uninformed. Tradition is truth and fixed.
In a recent article by the Royal College of Midwives, a Nepali midwife conducted a survey and discovered the same thing. The mother-in-law makes all the decisions, including the need for prenatal care, the household jobs that must be done while being pregnant, who delivers the baby, and much more.
Often the very young moms at our clinic come with their mother-in-law. This actually makes me very excited! It means I can respectfully teach the new mom with the "old" mom. I try to always ask if the mother-in-law breastfed her kids and for how long, who delivered her babies, and if SHE has any questions for me. These are my favorite teaching times because I feel like there's a better chance that what I teach might make a difference.
It's amazing to me how much CULTURE influences healthcare. I could have all the right training and techniques, but unless I am able to successfully put it into the correct culture context, it's useless. I'm so thankful I have 18 years logged in this culture, but at the same time I'm very much aware that I have much more to learn!

One week down!

2011-06-05T03:55:00.000-07:00

I just finished my first week at Shalom for all prenatal clinics (Tues, Wed, Fri). It's a whirlwind! We see about 110+ preggos in about 5 hours... The incredibly efficient, organized, and competent American nurse who normally keeps things on track is gone for the summer so that role has defaulted to me. It's been a bit of baptism by fire...I've learned what works, what doesn't work, and to BE ASSERTIVE.

We get Filipino nursing students who are at the clinic for their maternal health rotation...they are usually quite young and definitely still teenagers. The first day I felt badly telling them to stop doing something or to let me do it instead. No more. After mass chaos in pulling the patient records for their appointment, I simply took over the task. There's too much to screen the patients for to risk letting them do it.

We also had an Emmy award worthy mom come in (the Filipina midwife's words...not mine). I had finished checking the women in (which takes place outside) and had moved inside the one room clinic to help speed things along when all of the sudden this huge commotion starts outside.

Screams, yells, and gasps fill the air.

Suddenly one of the 2 Filipina midwives on duty cries out, "There's a mom in the driveway who's baby's head is out!" The other midwife took off out the door and after fumbling around to make the delivery table ready (we use it for prenatal check-ups when no one is delivering), this poor lady is carried in by two men, one presumably her husband. Her hand is between her legs, holding what I thought was the head. They maneuver her onto the lithotomy table, pull the curtains shut, and get ready to deliver the rest of the baby.

Suddenly the midwife bursts out laughing, "She's only 1cm! This lady needs an Emmy Award!"

We all laughed and sent the mom outside to walk around for a bit while we finished prenatals. Turns out this lady is having her 5th, but her last baby was 11 years ago. Maybe she's forgotten how things work? In any case, it was a good adrenaline rush for all of us.

My ear is a bit better, though it's still partially clogged. I'll take any improvement, though! Thanks for praying for that. :)

Learning to Listen

2011-05-31T05:50:00.000-07:00

It was bound to happen with all the busy-ness and running around I've been doing. I finally got sick. My body is no longer immune to these tropical bugs and so I caught the cold going around. Now a cold all by itself is not so bad, though a friend commented that it is a bit weird in such hot, sticky weather instead of the frigid winter colds we're used to in the US. But a cold combined with flying is a horrid combination. I managed to handle it ok on the flight down to Boracay, but on the flight back to Manila, my ear never equalized on the descent. All that to say, my right ear is still plugged after a week. I feel like my head is under water. I hate it. A doctor took a peek at it and it looks ok, just angry, red, and really retracted...but no infection. A little research and I learned it may take up to 3 months to resolve.
On my drive to the birthing clinic this morning, I got so discouraged by this feeling of a plugged up head, that I just wanted to turn around, go back to my bed, and lie there until I can hear again. I'm tired of saying, "what? I can't hear you." I feel like I'm operating at half mast and that's not a fun way to start out a ministry.
However, and I think you know where this is going, it's really made me come to grips with the fact that I will never operate at 100%. Even when my body is fine, there will still be things I miss. I feel like God is using this time of frustrating deafness to make me focus more on listening to Him and hearing His voice instead of the constant cacophony of traffic, people, chickens, construction, and all manner of distraction.
Every time I talk, it sounds twice as loud. I don't like that. Maybe I'll learn to talk less and listen more intently.
I hope so.

this and that

2011-05-27T02:31:00.000-07:00

Ahhh! I've gotten remiss in my blogging! Oh wait, maybe it has something to do with the fact that I've been traveling and then sick for the last month. But persist I will! (Wow, that sounds like Yoda...no, I'm not a Star Wars fan, honest)
Less than 24 hours after getting back from Davao, I got on another plane with fellow missionary, Ruth Ortiz and her son. We were on our way to Boracay, a gorgeous island in Central Philippines. Manila is such a huge smoggy city. It's really not that pretty. Poverty, crowds, trash, smells, humidity, pollution, traffic, stress are everywhere. It's hard to get away from it. These first few months of being here have been unusual in that I've gotten to travel outside of Manila quite a bit and see the beauty of the Philippines. Boracay is such a place. The water is the most beautiful of any I've seen. Most water in the Manila is NOT like this. It's usually dirty, cloudy, and with a slight film of oil on the surface. Boracay is stunning. Here's a picture of Kai suffering as an missionary kid.
I was in Boracay to speak to wives at a pastor's family conference. I focused on basic health concepts such as hand hygiene, good and bad body responses to illness, how to make oral rehydration solution, basic prenatal care and much more. The ladies seemed to really appreciate and learn from what was shared. Most of them come from provincial areas and this was new information for them.
After the conference ended on Friday, the rest of Ruth's family and a team from The Master's College in SoCal came out in preparation for a children's outreach program they are running through today on a very remote island. What a fun bunch of kids!
May has been super busy with lots of travels and meeting some great people. Definitely helped satisfy my travel bug for a time. :)
Enjoy the pics!

a cheap laugh

2011-05-14T07:13:00.000-07:00

When I first arrived in Davao, the motel I stayed in had a flooded street. The only way out was to walk up a hill and catch a cab. There were no shops or restaurants in this direction and there was no way I was going to walk through calf deep, nasty, putrid water to get some Adobo and rice. So, I took advantage of McDonald's delivery. For under a buck delivery charge, McDonald's will deliver any order, large or small, straight to my motel door.

After ordering my quarter pounder with cheese value meal, the lady on the phone warned me that the order may take 30-40 minutes to be delivered so the fries may not be fresh....then promptly asked if I wanted to add a caramel sundae to my order. So if I don't mind slightly cool fries, I guess I don't mind melted ice cream?

Hmmm...

Davao Delight

2011-05-07T19:59:00.001-07:00

Ever since I arrived in Manila, I've been hearing about this wonderful birthing clinic run by missionaries on the southern island city of Davao. I ran it by my supervisors and was given the green light to fly down for 2 weeks to learn and observe all I could before I begin at Shalom full-time in June.
I arrived last Wednesday and was bewildered. It looks a lot like Manila but there is NO traffic! (LA friends, you have no idea what traffic is until you've been to Manila, trust me!) And the people are definitely Filipino, but I don't understand what they're saying...it sounds like Tagalog but it isn't. It feels like my brain is one cog off the machine.
My first impression of Mercy Maternity is amazement. I have never seen such a well-run, organized, and efficient birthing clinic. It's beautiful, there's respect all around, it's open, and it's fun to watch all the teaching...from perinatal teaching to peer teaching among the foreign and national midwives (usually the nationals teaching the foreigners, which I love!).
Yesterday, I took a day-off from the clinic and joined some fellow Action missionaries, Will & Joanie Feuerstein, in their Face to Face ministry to prison inmates. What a FUN experience! Who knew that going to jail could be so much fun? These ladies are often separated from everyone they know, sent down to a faraway province where they try to live life in some semblance of normality....and yet they are so joyous and eager to be around us. We are a fun diversion from their monotony and we even come with some music, stories, and even comfort food, Jollibee (like McDonald's) fried chicken and rice. Because the order is so large, they send along their little mascot. I've never seen fully grown women act so silly around a giant bee. You would think they were a bunch of tweens meeting Rob Pattinson or Justin Bieber. It was highly entertaining to watch.
I wish I could post pictures of the beautiful, courageous women, but for their own protection and privacy I cannot. But please pray for these women as they face a life they never planned, trying to live with courage in spite of life's disappointments.

Some of the team members "behind bars"

Becoming a Papaya

2011-05-01T20:55:00.000-07:00

Medical professionals, among others, have to become papayas. I don't know when the last time you cut up a papaya, but the meat is soft and tender, yet the skin is super thick and tough. In order to survive here, we must develop thick skins but keep soft hearts.

For the last several weeks, I've had the privilege of sitting in with an American missionary doc who is absolutely amazing. He is a teacher at heart, and not a day goes by that I don't feel like I learned more than my brain can contain (and feel a bit stupid for how much I DON'T know!). I'm learning some great medical Tagalog like balisawsaw (ball-ee-sow-sow), which means urinary frequency. But most of all I'm learning that there are times when you can lead a horse to the water, but you can't make him drink.

Example: I met an older lady, probably in her 60s, who has just started going to Dr Scott's medical clinic for cleaning of her breast tumor. Most likely it is cancerous because she had chemo 10 years ago for the same. I could smell her before I saw her. When she undressed, I could not believe my eyes. I had never seen anything like this before. Never. Her tumor was about 8 inches in diameter and about 4 inches raised above the breast tissue. It was oozing pus and blood. At this point, there's very little we can do except clean it and redress it. She won't go to the hospital for treatment because the line is too long and she'd probably die before her turn came up.

I was surprised at how happy she still is. Smiles, laughter, still a sense of modesty. Though underlying I could sense some grief in her eyes. Life is fleeting and I think she's come to terms with that. Death is real and can only be put off for so long. Sounds fatalistic, but it's true.

As a medical professional, it's hard to see something like this and feel like my hands are tied behind my back. There's so little that I can do, except give her a soft touch, a smile, pray with her, and help her sit up from the exam table. (btw - I did not clean the tumor, another gal did that...I just oogled dumbfounded)

Please pray for those of us here. That we would be able to think like a papaya. That our compassion would stay strong, but that we would realize that we are but hands and feet. The decisions of life and death are not ours. A life lost is not our fault, a life saved is not our victory. We simply do what we can, with what we have. God is sovereign - I really believe that. Inasmuch, we can rest knowing that we do the best we can.

2011-04-24T05:34:00.001-07:00

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Holy Week as we know it

2011-04-24T01:45:00.000-07:00

It's Easter weekend, which is hardly mundane around here. Tradition is extremely important in the Philippines and Easter week is a BIG DEAL.

Here are some interesting Holy Week facts about the Philippines (these are generalizations and do not apply to every Filipino!)

- People do not see doctors during this week because they believe God will heal them instead
- Malls and most shopping centers shut down from Thursday on
- On Maundy Thursday thousands upon thousands of mostly youth walk more than 20 miles one way from their homes in greater Manila to the stations of the cross in Antipolo, near the birthing clinic
- Some believe that Jesus dies every Good Friday and is raised every Easter Sunday
- Life grinds to a halt from Friday to Sunday because "God is dead." (This is the BEST time to travel because there in NO traffic!!)
- All over the Philippines, Good Friday finds all forms of penance from crucifixions, flagellantes (self-beating), and even sliding up the side of a mountain on one's belly with hands and feet tied in an effort to earn favor and forgiveness
- Palm fronds blessed on Palm Sunday are prominently displayed in the home all year long as good luck and nearly a year later are burned to use the ashes for Ash Wednesday

One unforgettable story was when we visited the region that holds crucifixions (San Fernando, Pampanga). As a note, the men and sometimes women are tied to the cross with nails driven through the palms and feet, then raised for 3 minutes before they are lowered and the next people get their turn - they do not die. We paid a small fee and got into the press circle at the base of the small knoll where the actual crucifixions take place (hey, we write newsletters so we're journalists too, right?). One forlorn looking man was sitting on the grass waiting for his turn on the cross. When asked why he was getting crucified, he shared that his wife had been very sick 17 years ago. He "made a deal with God," that if He spared his wife, then he would crucify himself for 20 years. He had 3 years left.

This is so sad because God does not make bargains...we cannot earn His favor...we cannot earn forgiveness. It is a gift. And yet it is hard for our finite minds to grasp this.

I am so grateful to serve a Risen Savior who paid it all. He is no longer on that cross like so many crucifixes show. It is an empty cross because it was paid once, for all.

I praise Him because He is Risen. He is risen indeed!!

"He is not here; he has risen , just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay."
Matthew 28:6

Giant Waves, Circumcisions, and Awesome Beauty

2011-04-15T02:59:00.000-07:00

After a very rough trip there, including battling rough seas and lots of sea sickness casualties, we finally made the island nearly 12 hours after leaving Manila. (Praise God I was spared from hanging over the side of the boat!)

When we arrived to Balesin, we were all struck by the incredible, unsullied beauty. Until a year ago, there was no electricity on the island and the people barely scraped by with fishing. After a brief recovery period, we jumped in and saw 200 patients our first afternoon. We limped back to dinner and our bunkbeds in small cabins (leftover from the old family who sold the island to the development corp).

The next morning we were back at the elementary school where the clinic was held and went back to work. I took vital signs and then later assisted with minor surgeries such as circumcisions (it is a rite of passage for young boys here) and cyst removals. I was too chicken to help in the dental room with tooth extractions. Yuck. I think we saw about 400 patients total. The prevalent issues were vision problems, hypertension, tuberculosis, and rotten teeth.

Before leaving the island, we were given a few hours to play on the beautiful beach and take a quick boat ride around the western side of the island. It was stunning to see such a beautiful island without neon signs and bars. It looks much like it must have looked 100 years ago.

Thanks so much for your prayers and partnership! It was a wonderful trip and I look forward to hopefully going again during future annual trips.

Visa Success!

2011-04-12T02:48:00.001-07:00

Thanks for your prayers! After waiting around for 2 and a half hours, in a hallway crowded with nuns, what looked sort of like Buddhist monks, and several boring looking people like me, my name was finally called by an overworked commissioner. After taking up to 30 minutes with some cases, he quickly glanced at me, our mission director, and my father, flipped through the pages of documents that are required for my application, and looked at my passport. He grabbed a piece of paper and had the director and I each sign our "Acceptance of Authorization." Then told us we could go. Three minutes max. YES!
Now I need to wait 2-4 more weeks for them to process the application (what that means, I don't know), and then I can take my passport back to Immigrations and get it stamped with the right visa.
THANKS for praying!

On to the next adventure!

a letter

2011-04-11T07:23:00.000-07:00

In case you don't get my prayer letters, sent tonight:

Hi folks!

Well, after missing my first immigrations hearing because I never got the summons, I have a second chance thanks to a friend who is a judge and knows the boss of the boss of the boss who is in charge of the hearings...and of course because we all know the Big Boss! That second chance is tomorrow at 9:30am, Philippine time or 6:30pm Monday night Pacific Standard Time for West Coast peeps. PLEASE be praying for God's name to be glorified above all, and of course that the commissioner in charge of the hearing will show favor. (This need for first-time applicants of the missionary visa to have a hearing is very new, thanks to a new commissioner appointed by the new president.)

Then, at 1am on Wednesday morning, I will be departing Manila with a group of 30 Christian medical doctors, surgeons, and dentists to help conduct the very first medical clinic on a remote island off the eastern coast of the Philippines. To get there we take an overnight 5 hour bus ride to the coast, then a 4-7 hour outrigger boat ride across the waves. It is a 1.6 sq mi island that is privately owned by a multi-billion dollar development company who is planning to turn the island into a 5-star resort, employing the 850 local islanders as hospitality servers. The organizer of the trip is an elder in our church who is also in this company. He has warned us that the island is full of darkness and that there is only one professing believer. Please pray for God's holy anointing on us, for protection from the powers of darkness, safety, and for God's name to be lifted high. The goal is to return annually to assist with the medical needs of the community.

Thanks so much for praying for these two items. It's exciting to be a part of His obvious working here...and so are you!

Joy!
Pami

real anger

2011-04-08T03:37:00.000-07:00

*note - this deals with an issue that may not be appropriate for some folks. read with discretion*

Today I drove along with the sunrise up to the clinic to help out with prenatal check-ups. There were about 10 nursing students there to help out and help they did. Before the day started while they were in preclinical (at about 0730), I introduced myself and shared a bit of what we are about and why we do what we do. I also stressed the importance of breastfeeding, family planning, and how we are equals with those we serve. I asked them to sit beside the mom while they interview new patients so that they are participating in therapeutic communication. It's the little things that make the difference. I also asked them to refer to me any moms who indicated that they were planning to give formula to their baby.

There was one 16 year-old primip who looked older beyond her years who came for her first check-up at 7 months (most come around 12-20 weeks). The weight of the world was in her eyes. Now, most moms say they plan to mix feed their babies, such as when they go back to work or if they "don't have enough milk." This gal said she was planning to exclusively formula feed. WHAT?!? I gently asked why and she said her "mister" wanted her to. I had recently heard from a long time missionary doctor that sometimes the fathers don't want their wives/girlfriends/mistresses to breastfeed because it causes the milkbar to sag. So when I asked if she knew why her mister didn't want her to breastfeed, she just shrugged. I delicately (as delicate as one can be when asking this) asked if it was because he was afraid her breasts would sag and she hung her head and slowly nodded.

At this point I was ready to put my fist through the wall. Are you kidding me? This idiot of a schmuck would keep himself and his girlfriend poor, scrapping together money for formula, mixing it with non-potable water, risking malnutrition, disease, and developmental problems for the sake of delaying gravity? This guy is only 20 and most likely very uneducated. His friends have probably encouraged him to keep his girlfriend from breastfeeding as a matter of machismo. I had to remind myself that he is just as deserving of grace and education as his poor girlfriend.

I asked the girl if he was here and no, he wasn't. I explained to her the importance of breastfeeding and asked if perhaps I could share this with her boyfriend the next time she came for a check-up. She said she would ask him to come. I really hope and pray that he does. Will you pray with me? Before she left I made sure she understood that I wasn't upset with her and that we would work together for the best care of her baby.

Those pesky pests

2011-04-07T02:59:00.000-07:00

There are all manner of pests here in the Philippines. Rats the size of a small cat, flies, mosquitoes, roaches, scorpions, itchy caterpillars, and the kind on two wheels. They are simply everywhere on the road like so many fruit flies. It didn't used to be this way...I think there's a motorcycle conspiracy here. Now, I'm not anti-motorcycles, in fact, they can be quite fun. But I absolutely HATE them when the weave in and out of traffic with no regard for the bigger vehicles. I can easily count at least 20 of them idling at any given red light as they squeeze their way through waiting cars. I've had no less than a dozen near misses since my arrival and have been repeatedly warned about them. Motorcycle deaths are to blame for the highest road fatality numbers.

Yesterday I had my first run in with one. I won.

I was driving up to a medical clinic run by an American missionary doc to learn how to conduct ultrasounds. There's this "secret" back road that skips out on much traffic and angst. It's pretty small and unused. At this particularly sharp turn going up a steep hill, I get stuck in a line of vehicles behind a big truck chugging in first gear up the hill. It was too tight to safely pass him. Folks, he was going PAINFULLY slow. Of course there were dozens of those little fruit flies passing us on the left and right. We finally neared my left turn to pull into the subdivision of the clinic (and the birthing clinic!) and I was excited to skip out on the rest of the funeral march behind the truck. I put my blinker on, glanced in my mirrors, checked the oncoming lane and started to turn left.

BANG!

Shocked, I checked the left mirror and there was a motorcycle falling to the ground in very slow motion. I quickly pulled into the subdivision, hopped out, and ran down the road to check on my victim (or was I the victim?). Not only was there a thoughtless, reckless dude driving the motorcycle, he had his two young kids he was taking to school!!! The kids were standing up and walking to the edge of the road and the guy was picking up his bike, quite shaken but appeared to be unharmed. I checked over the kids, kneeling down to see their eyes while I asked them if they were ok. The driver pulled off his jacket and revealed a cop uniform! Yikes, this guy was a cop! By this time all the guys hanging around the clinic came running down and started chewing the driver out for being reckless. Then I yelled at him because he still had part of his bike in the road, just asking to be hit again. I asked him if he was ok, he sheepishly showed me his scraped knuckles, but he was extremely lucky he was ok and his bike was unscathed. His kids piled back on the motorcycle and he skedaddled before the other guys took their own vengeance on him.

I didn't bother with taking him to the police office to file an accident report because who knows what cronies he has there that would conveniently make it my fault. As a white person, it's always our fault. A friend recently had a drunken motorcycle driver hit the back of her car, dislocating his shoulder. And SHE was expected to pay his hospital bill and purchase his sling simply because she's white. So I wasn't going to push it.

My car has a scratch and a small dent which I should be able to get hammered out. I was shaken, but thankful it wasn't worse. A different missionary turning left at the same corner creamed a motorcyclist and that dude had broken bones. God knew I didn't need that kind of drama this soon.

On a happier note, I scanned my first fetus yesterday under the gentle and guidance of a fantastic Swiss missionary doctor. I loved it! I'm very excited to be able to do this confidently and competently in the future for the moms at the birthing clinic.

I Guess I'm Here to Stay

2011-04-03T06:12:00.001-07:00

Folks, there's no denying it. Today I used my very last Target brand cotton round. Tear.

Now this isn't that big of a deal, but it is the last of the package I brought with me and I had to go out and buy a local replacement (which will work just fine). It's weird how I mourn the little things that mark the passing of time. After all, it's these little things that make me release the grip of the US and make me feel like I'm really here to stay for a while, such as cotton rounds, toothpaste, shampoo & conditioner, and lotion. (You'd be surprised how HARD it is to find lotion here that doesn't have whitening agents in it. As if I'm not white enough, thank you very much!!!)

So slowly but surely I'm adjusting, settling, and figuring out my place in this land.

Breastfeeding class

2011-03-31T03:32:00.000-07:00

During our mission conference last week, I talked with one of the other single gals out here about her ministry with street kids out in Silang, Cavite. Because of the nature of her ministry, she often gets involved with their families (if they have them). She found out about one boy's baby sister being in the hospital with sepsis. Upon visiting this little one and her mom, she was stunned to find the baby emaciated because the public hospital does not provide formula and the family had no money to buy it. The baby was septic because of diffuse scabies. The baby is just one year old now and the mom is 9 months pregnant with her next one. Erin asked me to come down and talk with the mom about the importance of breastfeeding and try to see if there were any problems that kept her from breastfeeding her other kids.

I drove down yesterday to meet with this lady and actually ended up talking with about 10. We gathered under a big tree in some borrowed chairs and I had a wonderful time getting them to interact and share about their feeding experiences, some common misconceptions, and the benefits of breastfeeding over formula feeding. It was great to see the moms encouraging each other and one of the successful breastfeeders offered to help a young mom with a four-month-old try to relactate!

It really broke my heart to see where these families live and it's easy to see why there is so much sickness, including scabies. The river that is supposed to be synonymous with life is filled with trash, including dirty diapers, bottles, cans, and all manner of disease. This is the same river they wash their clothes with, the kids play in, and some even choose to bath in it.

Please pray that these moms would take what was shared to heart and that they would be able to overcome traditions and the status symbol of formula, see past the myths, and that they would support each other for healthier kids!

Pocktbacs and fakes

2011-03-28T04:52:00.000-07:00

The other day, I noticed that one of my new Filipina friends had a similar hand sanitizer/ "pocketbac" holder to one I had gotten from Bath & Body Works. I asked where she had gotten hers and quickly learned it was a knock-off, a copy-cat of the one from B&BW (quite common here). In not quite my proudest moment, I got all indignant inside thinking, "Well, MINE is the real one. Yours is a fake." I know, not exactly a pure attitude...thank goodness I didn't say it out loud, but the thought was still there (And if that friend is reading this, I'm very sorry!). Later, I dissected my motives and why I had gotten all snobby and proud inside. And while it doesn't excuse my high-and-mighty thoughts, I guess I wanted something from "home" that was uniquely mine. Perhaps it was that materialism that reared it's ugly head...the thought that I have something you don't. No matter. It was ugly.

But it got me to thinking that I'm just as guilty for being a copy-cat. I can be very good at looking authentic, seeming real. I know how to say a good prayer, appear sincere, but deep inside I'm not always feeling it. I'm not real. It can sometimes be an act out of habit. In other words, I can sometimes be a knock off. There's so much pressure, largely self-induced, to keep that halo shiny and polished...and how often I fall short, stumbling along the way.

Praise God it's a journey and the refining doesn't happen over night. Praise God that He can see our motives and correct us. Praise God for grace and second, tenth, and one-thousand-seventy-sixth chances.

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect" Romans 12:2, NLT

A Walk Among the Rice Fields

2011-03-27T06:37:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week was ACTION's annual field conference. A time I usually dreaded as a kid. It's a gathering of all the ACTION missionaries for a little R&R, as well a spiritual enrichment. I hated it. There were three boys who were one year older than me who loved to use this time to torment and tease me mercilessly while the adults were in meetings. But I whine and I digress. All that to say, I had mixed feelings about this mandatory trip...

This conference was VASTLY different. It was wonderful to attend as an adult and be refreshed and renewed...even though I've only been here for a month. I loved reconnecting with several familiar faces from my childhood, but on a completely different level. I'm excited to work with this great bunch of people. The highlight was an afternoon walk among the rice fields with a couple other families. What started out as a paved road among some houses, quickly became a dirt path, then a tiny pathway in between rice fields. Stunning. Here are some pictures - enjoy!

Rice drying on the road in front of neighborhood store

Wash day!

Beautiful river of life for these people

simple living

Working in the fields

Why hello, Mr Kalabaw!

Just a man and his field

the beautiful paddies and volcano

Diyaryo!

2011-03-25T06:16:00.000-07:00

My first newsletter from the field is on it's way to mailboxes, both physical and virtual, all over the world. To see it now, click here. :)

The rickety taxis

2011-03-18T04:32:00.000-07:00

Growing up as a kid, I was NEVER allowed to travel anywhere by myself, for obvious reasons! After nearly being kidnapped as a 10 year-old, those restrictions where even tighter and I wasn't even allowed to stroll through the mall by myself. (By the way, I just found out that the Philippines is home to 3 of the 11 largest malls in the world!) Now that I'm back here as an adult, I find I am a bit leery to be traveling by myself, even though I'm a "big girl". It's an odd feeling to just step outside of my house, hail a cab, and head to my destination. Though it always seems I luck out with the rickety, squeaky, and barely road-worthy taxis.

I have a safety system in place: I always text the name of the cab - yes, they all have names, a humorous subject for another entry - and the license plate number to another missionary in case anything happens...and I carry my pepper spray in my hand. I'm safe, though I must be vigilant.

I always try to start a conversation with the driver for several reasons:
1.) to let him know that I speak the language and know the area so he doesn't try to drive in circles to raise the meter price
2.) to let him know I love the Philippines and am here to serve
3.) to get him to turn down the radio (often the biggest motivator!)

These conversations always start with, "Wow! How do you e-speak Tagalog ma'am?" And then interest in what I do and why I'm here. I had one driver who was a CRAZY driver (seriously, I feared for my life!) who use to be a provincial bus driver...ah, that's explains the driving. It was my first time going to this particular destination and I found out later he did take me in circles. :( And he was super defensive of his people. I couldn't get him to understand that I came here to help, not make him feel bad that his country requires help. Shoot, we ALL need help, no matter where we are. This sentiment is quite rare here and I was honestly surprised at his indignancy.

However, on Wednesday I had a rather interesting conversation with one taxi driver who was a bit jaded with his religion and asked what church I attend, what I believe, etc... To be perfectly frank, I'm not much of a vocal evangelist (so why am I a missionary you ask, I know...I've asked it too). So I found myself in an interesting position sharing what I believe and the differences between what his church teaches. He was sad when we arrived at my destination, though he did mention that he knew of a Christian church near his house that he would try out. Please pray for this guy! (I didn't even get his name.)

On a related note, I DO have a vehicle that God miraculously provided, but due to over-congestion - an understatement! - each vehicle is restricted from driving on the road 1 day per week. In otherwords, I can't drive between 7am-7pm on Wednesdays. :)

"high blood"

2011-03-15T03:37:00.000-07:00

I took a break from my workshops and observations today and helped out at the birthing home during their prenatal clinic this morning. Normally there are anywhere from 5-15 nursing students from local nursing schools milling around to help with the process, but it's summer break here right now and we were quite short handed!

We saw 103 preggos, all at varying stages of belly bulging. I mostly did blood tests to check for anemia and helped check the moms in, pulling their records, taking vitals, etc... One mom stood out to me. She was only 20, a primip (first baby), and quite slender. Her baby's father was with her and interested in her progress. I took her BP and got 180/120. Yikes! I checked again on the other arm...the same. I called over another nurse to verify and she got 170/120, still high. Blood pressures this high are very dangerous in anyone, particularly in pregnant women. We referred her on to a local public hospital who could give her medications to bring down her blood pressure and protect her little one. Please pray for this mom and her little family!

It was a BUSY morning, but so rewarding. I saw quite a bit of anemia as I read the lab tests, a common problem as these women do not have access to much iron rich foods. Their diet mostly consists of simple carbs like rice, ramen noodles, and white bread. Leafy greens are usually available, but there's not much education about eating them. That's something that we encourage all our moms to add to their diet.

Tomorrow I'll be at the Philippine General Hospital for a two-day seminar/workshop on lactation (breastfeeding). I'm looking forward to more learning, but I have a feeling my brain is going to feel a bit like mush on Thursday night. :)

Some Stats

2011-03-14T05:57:00.000-07:00

Here are some statistics that I learned from the Essential Newborn Care workshop:

more than 50% of the Philippine population is below poverty line
of those who make minimum wage, about 26% of their income is spent on formula
the Philippines is one of 42 countries that accounts for 95% of global under 5yrs mortality
82,000 children die annually in the Philippines, 45% are neonates, with 3 out of 4 dying within the first week of life
Strict breastfeeding is the single greatest preventative success in lowering mortality, by 13%
Of 25 babies that recently died at a local hospital from an infection outbreak (which shut down the ward!), none had received colostrum
At Baguio General Hospital, breastfeeding and couplet care (when baby and mama stay together for duration of stay), has caused an 89% decrease in sepsis in neonates!!

Those are some powerful stats! And it means that we need to educate the poorest of the poor regarding the benefits of breastfeeding and safe health practices. Please pray for me as I work with local doctors and health professionals to develop a curriculum that will meet these needs in a culturally relevant and sensitive way. Thanks!

First Embrace

2011-03-12T03:37:00.001-08:00

Today was absolutely marvelous! At the invitation of one of the senior residents at the Philippine General Hospital, I attended a workshop put on by Unang Yakap about Essential Intrapartum Newborn Care. Lectures by Obstetricians and Neonatologists were given about how evidence should be guiding practice. Not only was this highly enlightening, but I got an offer by an Obstetrician to informally train me to perform and read ultrasounds! Praise God! I am so excited for how He is providing. I also made several connections with key doctors who may be able to train me and offer assistance now and in the future.

With St Luke's OB, Dra Manlapaz, Unang Yakap leaders and neonatologists, Dra Silvestre, Dra Capili, and Dra Sareno

These workshops are taking place all over the country by a key group of MDs who have given up their private practice in order to focus on reducing mortality rates among mothers and babies. Unang Yakap: Yakap ng Ina, Yakap ng Buhay literally translates to, "First Embrace: Embrace of Mother, Embrace of Life." Yakap can also be translated to "hug." I love it. The Philippine Department of Health has now mandated that all physicians, midwives, and healthcare personnel follow these guidelines regarding the standard practice of care during and immediately following birth.

One thing that made me excited was that it wasn't just big-wig physicians who attended this particular workshop at one of the top hospitals in the Philippines, it was also the nursing staff. Way to be empowered Filipino nurses!

during a group exercise, doctors & nurses working together :)

My Favorite Starbucks in the World!

2011-03-09T19:47:00.000-08:00

While I was waiting for my passport to get stamped with the amended visa on Monday, I sat in my favorite Starbucks in the world....and I've been to them all over the world. I've even been to the busiest Starbucks in the US, which is on the southbound I5 just north of the Grapevine in SoCal. But this one is by far the most unique!Immigrations is located inside the old walled city of Manila, founded by the Spaniards in the late 1500s. Just across the street, located inside the wall, is this Starbucks. It used to be a entry/exit roadway for horse-drawn carriages, then was sealed off and became barracks for soldiers. And now it's a delightful Starbucks! It's a wonderful haven to sit and have a mocha while waiting for my passport to be processed. Outside it's chaos, noise, stress, and confusion. Inside it's familiar, peaceful, hip, and relaxed.

Below is a picture of Intramuros from the late 1800s when it was still a fort

The day I got 4 proposals

2011-03-08T04:09:00.000-08:00

Yesterday (Monday) I trooped down to Immigrations inside the old walled city of Manila. Intramuros. I found a wonderful pastor's wife through a mutual friend who was able to help me navigate the confusing system. She confirmed that my returning resident, 1 year visa was a mistake and I do not qualify because I have no Filipino ancestry. She also helped me identify every piece of paper I needed to get my non-profit visa...and nothing has to come from the US! PRAISE GOD! Now I just pray that it all goes through smoothly.

She then led me to another office full of older men who could amend my passport to the correct visitor's visa until I can convert it to the non-profit visa. They all argued with her that because I have a Filipino birth certificate, I do qualify for the 1 year visa. After about 5 of the guys got together to discuss, and a gentle admonishment from my friend to uphold the law and that it was a matter of integrity, they agreed to amend my visa. Of course they asked me what I was doing here and I bemoaned the fact that I would have to go through the hassle and fuss of getting the right visa for missionary work. One of the guys grinned and said, "I have the perfect solution. Just apply for the 13-a visa!"
"What's that," I asked.
"All you need to do is marry a Filipino and you won't have to worry about visas." Then about 4 of the guys all offered to marry me. The only guy who didn't offer was lamenting that he was married. I laughed with them and again my friend said, "Yes, but her first priority and criteria is a man who loves God and is a follower of Christ."
What an awesome testimony! Yeah, these guys were half kidding with their proposals, but at the same time, it was a great opportunity for my friend and me to uphold the integrity of the law and the Word.

So I managed to keep my cool, meet some really neat people, and get my visa straightened out. Thanks for praying! It's not over yet, though. I still need to file all the paperwork within the next few days. It should go fairly quickly and smoothly, but I've learned that you can never count on that when the government is involved, no matter what country you're in!

If you think about it, please also pray those guys who watched integrity in action, not something that's so common in those offices. As a side note, while I was waiting to pick up my amended passport, I watched several bribes taking place and money was slyly slipped into palms. I'm glad I got to be different. Here's an interesting news article about one government official trying to clean it up.

raising the bar

2011-03-05T03:54:00.000-08:00

Has it really only been two weeks? It feels like I've been here for two months already!

This week my jetlag finally caught up with me as I struggled with exhaustion and multiple rounds of discouragement. As easy as last week was is as difficult as this week has been. That's not to say that this week hasn't been productive or had it's high points, though. Excellent progress has been made towards more training and learning opportunities!

Prayers are definitely needed though. Most of it boils down to my visa situation. Without going into too much detail, I was mistakenly given a returning Filipino visa that is reserved for those with Filipino blood. This is not the first time I've been given this visa as I speak the language and my passport clearly states I was born in the Philippines. It's a natural assumption, I guess. Anyways, because of that, I need to go down to immigrations and get that amended so that the integrity of my mission, our representing Filipino council, and me is all upheld. Raising the bar, so to speak. It would be easy to let it slide and just take that stance of, "well, it was their mistake, so it's not my fault..." But just as my mom accidentally was not charged for an item she was buying and had to make that right, so do I have to make things right with my visa.

This leads to another issue of certifying documents from the US that they are real and true...which needs to be done in the US according to what I can tell. I need these documents in order to prove that I am a missionary and not a business person trying to operate on a non-profit visa. A Filipino-American friend knows of someone in immigrations who may be able to help me. Please pray that we can get all these issues resolved and figure out the best, legal way to get a missionary visa with the least amount of stress and frustration. And pray that my attitude would remain above reproach...that's always tricky when I'm tired, hot, and most likely waiting in uncomfortable chairs. :) I'm clinging to this verse: "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer" (Ps 19:14).

As far as happier news, I've met with three doctors over the last two days. All three are wonderful and have gone above and beyond with finding additional learning opportunities. I also spoke with an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (ie breastfeeding expert) who is more than happy to work with me and train me. What an answer to prayer! Thank you, Lord!!

Lastly, the self-portrait above was taken on a pedestrian overpass on a busy highway. (Edsa for those familiar with the Manila). Incidentally, just to the right of the picture is the hospital where I was born! And no, I'm not THAT white! The flash went off and the picture is weirdly overexposed.

Care Packs

2011-02-28T03:14:00.000-08:00

Due to request, I have added a care packages tab. I really am amazed at how much I can get over here! Just today I bought some colby jack and feta cheese. I NEVER used to be able to get this goodness here. Tacos for dinner! :)

So if you're interested in care packages, see the tab above.

Second Impression

2011-02-26T02:01:00.000-08:00

First impressions of moving to Manila are pretty typical: it's crowded, noisy, smoggy (puts LA smog to shame!), at times smelly, dirty, and busy. However, it's also a great place to be, don't get me wrong! People are always ready with a smile, a helping hand, and suggestion for the best route to get somewhere.

My second impression was a sore shoulder. My purse is so much more heavy here! I pulled everything out of my purse to try to figure out what on earth was making it so heavy. It's shocking how much I took for granted in the US, such as clean bathrooms, TP, and seat covers!

Purse contents in the US:
- wallet
- phone
- lip gloss
- hand sanitizer
- pens
- old receipts
- gum wrappers

Purse contents in Manila:- wallet
- phone
-lip balm with SPF
- hand sanitizer
- toilet paper
- toilet seat covers
- wet wipes
- Epipen (shrimp allergy)
- face powder (to matte the sweat)
- gum
- purse hook (keep bag off dirty ground)
- camera
- granola bar
- pens

In other news, this week was full as I got my Philippine driver's license, opened a local bank account, converted my cellphone to a local company, all in addition to spending 3 days this week out in the countryside for new missionary orientation. It was an interesting mix as all of us (one other married couple and me) are missionary kids. The personnel director was wonderfully wise and spent less time on the nitty gritty stuff like policy and procedure and more time on practical advice. We had 6 other missionaries come share their testimony and 5 tips, such as staying humble, setting boundaries, expecting new job descriptions/responsibilities, and so on. Very enlightening and much more helpful than P&P!

I'd love your prayers this week as I contact the medical professionals who have offered to help me learn more about perinatal nursing. One great need is for someone who knows how to do an ultrasound. There is a machine that could be available, but there's no one to perform the ultrasounds. I would love to become certified, so that's a big prayer request!

It's been a BUSY start so far and it's just bound to get busier. Thanks for taking this journey with me!

made it safe and sound

2011-02-19T10:03:00.000-08:00

It's 2:04am and my body is ready to be horizontal instead of cramped in a little seat!

As always, thanks for your prayers! I'm really and truly here!

Blast off!

2011-02-18T10:55:00.001-08:00

All overweight bags checked with no fees? Check. Guitar strapped to my back? Check. Ridiculously heavy laptop tote? Check. Heart ready? Getting there.

Thanks for all the love, prayers, encouragement, blessings, and joy. It's finally time to spread those wings and fly!

I'll be writing again from the other side of the world. :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A good reminder

2011-02-16T22:33:00.001-08:00

Two dear friends took me to Disneyland today for a final farewell and to build some lasting memories. While we were there, I got to do something I can't remember doing (though I'm sure I did as a kid)...see Great Moments for Mr. Lincoln. A wonderfully patriotic and God-glorifying presentation. During the following quote from Mr. Lincoln, I started to get choked up as I realized these words were so very true for me.

"I know there is a God, and that He hates injustice and slavery. I see the storm coming. I know His hand is in it. If He has a place, work for me, and I think He has; I believe I'm ready. I have nothing, but truth is everything. And with God's help, I shall not fail."

It is true. God has work for me and I believe I am ready. I really have nothing but Him to accomplish what He has set before me. And with God's help, along your prayers and encouragement, I shall not fail.

Where is the Love?

2011-02-13T22:31:00.000-08:00

Today was a very special day as I was commissioned by Family Heritage Church in La Quinta, CA. At the end of a "loving" service, I was handed a gift bag FULL of cards written by all the kids in the Sunday School classes as well as cards from many of the adults in the church. It was hilarious reading the wonderful cards by the kids, especially! I was told to minister well in Brazil, was addressed as Mr. Ellis, and most every kid spelled the Philippines as "Phillippians." I love the latter as it shows the kids know their Bible! I had the reverse problem as a kid and kept spelling the epistle like the country. :)Yesterday, my dear friends threw a fabulous going-away party for me. So, where is the love? It is bursting, overflowing from my heart. I am so grateful and amazed at the incredible love and support everyone is showing me. Seriously, any doubts or questioning of God's timing in this new journey can be fully laid to rest! He has provided for me over and over. From 100% monthly support, a vehicle and housing in Manila, a buyer for my car here, and providing incredible learning opportunities when I first arrive, God has showed me over and over that He is truly taking care of ALL of my needs. Even my need for love and encouragement. I am saving most of the cards I have gotten so far to open once I am there. When I'm having a down or "blah" day, I will open a card and remember the dear love and support of all of you back here.

Thank you.

Proud of my kuya

2011-02-11T10:38:00.001-08:00

This week was especially sweet for me as I watched my kuya (Tagalog for oldest brother) fulfill a lifelong law enforcement dream by becoming a US Border Patrol agent. I drove out to New Mexico (location of Federal Law Enforcement Training Center) with my aunt and uncle and am now sitting on the (very late!) train waiting to get back to LA.

Here's a picture of him in his pickle suit.

So many changes!

2011-02-05T20:11:00.000-08:00

It's been a long week but in good ways. And it's only 8:12 on a Saturday night and I'm ready to crawl into bed and get up close and personal with my pillow for the next 8 hours... So instead of being wordy, here's a SHORT update while my eyes are still open. :)

~ First of all, and this is a BIG ONE, I'm at 100% of my monthly support!!! Praise God for His incredible provision that is nothing short of miraculous!

~ Sunday First Baptist Church of Lakewood prayed for me, sort of another commissioning service. One can never be prayed for too much!

~ Tuesday was my last day at work. I had to turn in my ID badge in order to get my last paycheck. So final. I had a wonderful day and was reminded yet again of the wonderful friends I have made and how much I'm going to miss it. ----> The ortho gang

~ Wednesday was dinner with one of the missionaries I support financially and prayerfully. I loved seeing what they are doing and reconnect as friends...look forward to doing that with my own supporters in the future.

~ Thursday & Friday was a 16 hour drive towards the middle of nowhere in New Mexico. My aunt, uncle and I are here to watch my oldest brother graduate from the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center. To say I'm proud of him is an understatement!!!

~ Saturday, today, we drove down to Carlsbad Caverns, a gorgeous cave system in southern NM. (See pictures below)

The next two weeks are going to pass by in a whirlwind of activity and goodbyes. I hate goodbyes...I haven't had to really say them for 10 years and I've forgotten just how much they hurt. But like I've said before, I'm thankful for the pain because it reminds me just how very blessed I am to love and be loved so deeply.

Thanks for your prayers and enjoy a couple of pictures!

Sitting at the entrance of the cave before an 800ft descent down a mile long winding road

Amazing rock formations

Spending time with my brother in New Mexico before heading across the world

Things I'll miss...

2011-01-29T05:31:00.000-08:00

People often ask me what I'm going to miss about the US when I move to the Philippines. That's a tough one!

When my family first moved there in 1981, things were MUCH different. The only fast food restaurants from home were Shakey's and KFC. McDonald's opened shortly after. Now they have just about everything from TGI Fridays, Tony Roma's, Fazoli's, even Taco Bell! There are more Gucci, Chanel, Louis Vuitton, and Armani stores than there are in LA...practically. It's ridiculous. Walking distance from my parents' house are 5 major shopping malls. It seems like Manila has just about everything.

That being said, there are some things I'm going to miss:
In N Out
Red Robin
Target (sniff sniff)
Trader Joe's (stomach growls)
Driving with at least 10 feet from the car in front of me, doesn't happen too often in LA, but it DOES happen
finding pants/shorts that fit (Filipinas are built differently)
Liquid coffee creamer!!! :( :( :(
hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurants
free tickets to Disneyland
Big Bang Theory on TV

And of course the people. I can do without the things, but the people are what will hurt. Thank God for Skype and GoogleTalk.

But keep me accountable, folks. There were things I missed dearly when I moved to the US in 2001. Things that I really appreciate about the Philippines. Ask me about what I love sometime in March after I've settled in a bit. :)

I'm no saint

2011-01-22T18:30:00.000-08:00

I love sharing about what God has called me to do in Manila...but I never quite know how to respond when someone says, "you're so good." or "you're a saint." Honestly, I want to laugh because God knows just how far from that mark I fall...on a daily basis. I complain with the worst of them, I'm cynical, judgmental, prideful, and still very much a work in progress. Trust me folks, I'm NO saint.

I now have a small glimpse of what Paul meant when he wrote, "To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ..." (Eph 3:8). I'm sure at times people called him "good" to his face.

The challenge to a comment like this is to turn the focus from me and any goodness I have within me to the greatness of God. Truly my desire to go to the Philippines and improve the quality of life of the underserved is a response of God's incredible grace towards me. I am not good, He is. Of course I can say something like this, but the difficulty is saying it in such a way that doesn't sound preachy or sanctimonious. Any suggestions?

As I say my goodbyes at work and with friends, I'd love your prayers as I try to explain succinctly and plainly why I am going to the Philippines without sounding like a saint or a Sadducee.

26 more days!

*Clarification* added 1/24
Yes, all believers are saints in a Biblical sense. I don't mean to get into a theological issue. What I mean is, I am not a "Saint" as the world sees saints...such as Saint Mother Theresa, St Peter, St Catherine, etc... Make sense?

Is it really time?

2011-01-15T19:04:00.000-08:00

...to turn in my two weeks notice? Wow, it feels like a speeding bullet train racing towards me. The end, that is. For so long this new journey has seemed like a goal, a vision, but so far from reality. (Sick of this theme for the blog yet?)

I was planning to turn in my two weeks notice tomorrow at the hospital where I work, but then realized that it's a holiday and even though I will be working, most of America will not, including the HR department. So that inevitable event is postponed a day.

Am I sad that this day has come? Absolutely. A big part of me is grieving. This was my very first hospital job and I absolutely love it. Every day I come home a slightly wiser and more experienced nurse, with GREAT stories! No two patients are alike and yet I can relate to *nearly* all of them on some sort of personal level. I am very confident in my skills and my responsibilities. I know what I'm doing. I've made excellent friends in my coworkers and we have great respect for one another. If I have questions, I know exactly where to go to get answers. I know my place at work...there's very little uncertainly with my job. People like me and know my quirks. In other words, I'm comfortable in the nurse I have become. I am very sad to leave that.

What faces me is a lot of uncertainty. Who am I to tell a mom how to breastfeed her child? I'm not a mom and have never done it myself? I don't know Filipino diseases very well. My medical Tagalog is shaky. I'm a young whipper-snapper to many of the folks there. There will be some very real challenges in proving myself not only to them, but also to me! It's nerve-wracking, and if I were facing this alone, I would be crazy and scared spitless. However, I cling to the promise that I'm not alone (Matt 28:20). That in my weakness, God's strength will be made perfect (2 Cor 12:9). And that when I started as a new hospital nurse 2 years ago, I was in similar circumstances, and yet look how far I've come. God is good. And through Christ alone, I can do this.

A time to pause

2011-01-08T11:25:00.001-08:00

Even though I already posted twice this week (a record?), it's still Saturday and time for another post.

It seems like God is wanting me to pause and rest before my big move...thanks to a little pneumonia and horrid cold. Armed with antibiotics, great cough syrup, and mandatory leave from work, I'm trying to make the most of this opportunity to reflect, spend some time in solitude, sleep, and of course make a dent in my ever growing "urgent, send thanks!" list.

In some ways I feel like a 747 jet waiting on the runway for the "go" signal. I'm waiting for the 100% before I fire up the engines to take off. There's that little bit of apprehension that every pilot feels...is the plane going to make the lift-off, overcoming the gravity that pulls it down? Is everything really going to get done for me to be able to take off? I know it will, but it's still a daunting thought!

These next couple of days will pass by quickly...my parents are in the US to move my Gramma to a higher level of care. (At 95, her memory and ability to care for herself is fading.) Tomorrow we will make a trip to the happiest place on earth, courtesy of some wonderful Christmas gifts. (Pray my body holds up for it!) My folks, middle brother Peter and his family, and I will traverse the magical Mouse House for some family memories. Though we're sorely going to miss my oldest brother who is out of town for training. :(

Enough rambling (blame the drugs), some prayer requests:
- that I'll get over this nasty bug and that YOU don't get it
- that my boxes that are enroute to Manila will make it back into my hands safe and sound
- for all my legal documents to be located so I can get the visa I need in the Philippines
- for a safe trip back to Manila for my parentals (they leave on Tuesday)
- and of course, for that last bit of support to come in

Thanks for reading this very rambling post!

94.4%!!!

2011-01-06T12:34:00.000-08:00

That's right, 94.4%! Praise the Lord with me that I'm so close!!

Bring it on!

2011-01-03T16:20:00.001-08:00

It's 2011. It's also been two Saturdays with no post despite my best intentions...but between a slightly unplanned and very fast move, a nasty cold that's going around, a trip out of town, and oh yeah, CHRISTMAS, there's been no time to blog, let alone open up my laptop. (Thank goodness for a smartphone that allowed me to stay somewhat connected to my cyberfamily.)

Boxes are shipped. Stuff is stored. Body is moved temporarily to some friends' house. And a whole lot of stuff is given away or chucked. How is the WORLD did I accumulate so much stuff??

Like I said, boxes are shipped. Five boxes of an unknown weight, other than ridiculously heavy, were delivered to the Forex warehouse in Carson for FREE shipping, courtesy of Forex. Praise God! Inside these boxes were the beginnings of a house (clothes, sheets, pots/pans, dishes) and a whole bunch of donated medical equipment/supplies. What an enormous blessing!
Me with Forex owner, JP Carino --->

I am now at (drumroll, please!)
91.27%

I'm almost there!!! I'm still praying for a January departure, so your added prayers are much appreciated. It's very doable, especially for the God with who all things are possible, yes?

My next newsletter is written. I'm just waiting for my December financial statement (due any day), in case that 91.27% goes up. Watch your mailboxes, virtual or otherwise, for it.

Thanks for your prayers and love. We're nearly there!

A week away!

2010-12-18T20:30:00.000-08:00

It's Saturday...I didn't forget. Time for another blog update. :)

My commissioning service was wonderful and meaningful. I had a few moments to share about what I'll be doing, followed by a verbal affirmation of "going forth" and the congregation's reply of a promise to pray and support me. Sherry Coats, the wonderful missions pastor then prayed for me as various members laid hands on me. Daunting, perplexing, exciting, and everything in between. It's a big responsibility...and yet it's one that every follower of Christ has. It's not just me and my special commissioning service. We are ALL commissioned to share the joy and hope we know.

Secondly, I am now at 88.23%!!! This is so close! To be at 100% I need an additional 16 financial partners at $25 a month. Or 8 folks at $50. Pray pray pray!

I am needing to be out of the house I've lived in for the last 18 months by Dec 30. This means that with the exception of what I am taking with me on the plane and a few winter clothes, everything has to be put in storage, given away, or shipped to Manila. That's ALOT to do in just two short weeks and it's daunting. (Have I mentioned that I'm not a fan of moving?) I would love your prayers for graciousness, wisdom, and a clear mind while I make this move. I am so grateful for some incredible friends who have offered me their spare bedroom until I get all my funding in to leave for the field.

Have a wonderful week-before-Christmas! I hope you get all those last minute gifts without too much stress, can enjoy some Christmas music, but most of all, enjoy the ONLY reason for the season.

"I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

com·mis·sion

2010-12-11T10:45:00.000-08:00

- the act of committing or giving in charge.
- an authoritative order, charge, or direction.
- authority granted for a particular action or function.
- a group of persons authoritatively charged with particular functions
- a task or matter committed to one's charge; official assignment

This weekend is my commissioning service at church, a time when I am introduced to the church body as a missionary, prayed for, dedicated, and sent forth. It's pretty exciting to think that this is actually happening, I am actually going to go back to the Philippines to work among a people I love, all for the sake of the Gospel.

Please pray for me as it happens, 5 o'clock tonight, and 4 times tomorrow morning. The actually laying of hands and praying will be at 11:30 tomorrow morning. I will try to post a video of it so those far and wide can watch. :)

Joy!

boxes

2010-12-04T09:48:00.000-08:00

Blogging: it seems to come in waves for me. Some weeks go by with several blog postings, and then an entire month will go by with absolutely nothing (November, ehem). And so I am going to do my best to crush this blogworld roller coaster and faithfully post every Saturday. And it begins today.

Yesterday I went shopping for boxes. Through the graciousness of the owner of Forex, I am being gifted with 5 free boxes to ship to Manila!!! This is huge as normally it is $60-70 per box to ship. I was originally planning on making most of my household set-up purchases in Manila because it's just too expensive to ship it, but since I'm shipping for FREE, I'm buying the better quality stuff here. So today I needed to box shop. Do you know how hard it is to find good quality, thick moving boxes? Home Depot, Lowes and Office Depot all failed me as none of their boxes were big enough. To U-haul I went. Another issue... their "jumbo" boxes all had "lightweight" stamped on them. Excuse me, moving a female is NOT lightweight! I finally found some microwave/large appliance boxes that are triple strength and the perfect size. phew!
I hate packing. I really, really hate packing. (doesn't everyone?) And yet the packing, sorting, giving, and tossing all makes me realize how incredibly blessed I am. How have I accumulated so much stuff in the 9 years I've lived in the US? And I haven't lived a wealthy, materialistic lifestyle either. A lot of it is sentimental junk...gosh, am I really that sentimental? Do I need that poster of the musical we put on in college? truly? Or how about all those CDs from the 90s? Can I just rip them up to my computer and toss them? Coats, sweaters? How many to keep for furloughs and will they be so dreadfully out of style when I come back? How can a peacoat ever go out of style? Ahhhh, the decisions...

In happier news, my much anticipated Christmas cards came yesterday. LOVE them! I would LOVE to send you one. Who knew graphic design could be so much fun? (When it turns out well, though I was ready to chuck the whole thing down the toilet several times. Thank goodness for friends who helped a sistah out! Corey, you are wonderful!)

Happy Saturday friends! I hope you can enjoy it and rest. I'm at work (I confess, I wrote this Friday night and timed it to post today) trying to keep patients alive 'til 7:35. If you think of me on Sunday, I'll be sharing with an adult Sunday School class at WACC. Prayers would be awesome.

So What's It Going To Take?

2010-12-01T17:26:00.000-08:00

I've had a lot of peeps ask me what it's going to take to get me to Manila? How much more do I need before I can jump on that plane?

At 79.4% of monthly support, I still need 20.6% (duh). Here's one way to look at it:

2 monthly supporters for $100

4 monthly supporters for $50

10 monthly supporters for $25

3 monthly supporters for $10

God can do it through us. With the faith of a mustard seed, I believe He is going to provide every last peso, dollar, and pound, not just for me, but for all of us! Not just for our needs, but for His ultimate glory.

New look!

2010-12-01T12:49:00.000-08:00

I finally figured out how to make tabs and spiffy up my blog site. So happy!

Things are progressing with support raising. I'm now at 79.4% of monthly support. Hard to believe I started this journey less than a year ago and yet God has been so faithful and I have MUCH to be thankful for.

Right now I'm procrastinating writing my final paper for one of my classes on my day off from work. Once this is out of the way, I have just one test and then I'm DONE and will have earned my second bachelor's degree. Weird.

The plan is still to leave for Manila as soon as I have 100% monthly support. That is entirely up to the Lord. I'm just praying and trusting the Lord for His timing while I enjoy this special season of the year with friends and family.

In other news, my 2010 Christmas cards (ok, my first Christmas card ever!) are printing and will be ready for mailing soon. I'd love to send you one. If I don't have your address, you can use my new nifty form here to securely send me your mailing address.

A bit of home

2010-10-26T20:39:00.000-07:00

I've posted lots of pictures of the abject poverty, depression, and grief in the Philippines. And while this is true, the Philippines is a land of resiliency unlike anywhere I've been. In the face of great disaster, they still smile. The reality of poverty, there is still laughter. The rubbish of neglect, beauty.

And so I thought I'd put together a little slideshow to give you a glimpse of the poverty, but also the incredible beauty of the island nation. Sunsets, coconuts, smiles, ocean, and even Starbucks. :) The pictures are not mine, so the quality is not always the best, but I think you'll get the picture (no pun intended!).

Enjoy!

new prayer letter...almost

2010-10-20T20:54:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how busy one can get when working full time, taking classes part time, and fundraising nearly full time. I'm not complaining, though! My life is full and my flip-flops are being blessed right off my feet!

I just finished a 12 hour shift, then submitted a homework assignment, posting a quick blog update, emptying the dishwasher, then early bed before another 12 hour shift beckons me out of blissful sleep at 5:15am. (Yes, the coffee will be pre-programmed to begin brewing at 5:11am so it's fresh and hot when I climb out of my soft bed!)

There's nothing spectacular about this post...but great things have been happening:
- Spoke at Family Heritage Church, La Quinta with lots of encouragement two Sundays ago
- Spoke with FHC's Classics (seniors), jr high/high school group, and college group last Wednesday
- Spoke at Lakewood Christian School middle school chapel yesterday morning
- Will speak at a Filipino church this Friday night

Oh yeah, and I'm writing my next newsletter which I hope to send to the printers by Friday night, but more realistically Saturday. Crazy? yes...but it's a good crazy and I'm excited for what amazing things God is going to do, not just in my life but in the lives of those around me!

So please pray!
- great speaking time on Friday
- more sharing opportunities (I have just one in Nov and one in Dec!)
- health/stamina
- self-discipline (yes, I am the queen of procrastination)
- wisdom as I write this next prayer letter and that it would bless those who read it

Thanks for your prayers so far...God is moving!

...and then I cried

2010-09-27T20:36:00.000-07:00

To say I'm not much of a crier is an understatement. I can count on one hand the number of times I've truly cried this year...which is a good thing because crying and Pami don't mix very well. It's not a pretty sight. Unlike some people who can gently weep, I sob, snort, bare my gums, and can hardly speak.
On Sunday, I cried. It wasn't the grimacing, snorting sort of crying, but I could barely speak as I expressed my thanks to a small, but mighty body of believers who had the faith to believe that God could work in miraculous ways to multiply five loaves and two fish in their own congregation,
A couple of months ago I spoke at a small church of about 50-75 about my ministry in the Philippines. I went with the knowledge that I was asking for prayer and not financial support. Many of the folks in this church have lost their jobs as their area has been hit hard by the recession. That Sunday was incredible and it was obvious that the Spirit of God moved in my mouth and the ears and hearts of those who heard my testimony and dream for a little birthing clinic.
A few weeks later the pastor contacted me that he and the other elder of the church believed God was calling them to challenge the members to live Luke 12:29-34, specifically, "Sell your possessions and give to charity; make yourselves money belts which do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near nor moth destroys" (vs 33). Members were encouraged to search their hearts and homes for items which they did not need, sell them, and give the proceeds towards the outgoing expenses needed for the ministry God has called me to. "Possession Proceeds to Propel Pami to the Philippines." I was cautioned that it may not be much, but that God would use whatever was given.
Yesterday, the offering was collected. Tears were shed. After the collection was taken, a short devotional was given, then members were asked to share their own testimonies of how God led them to give. The stories were phenomenal and incredibly humbling.
- an old clock with a silver frame thought to be valued for silver was sold. The silver was worthless but the jeweler offered $200 for the pretty clock!
- a valuable cello, that had been for sale for years was finally sold after the owners promised the Lord that the proceeds would go towards this ministry
- a couple who has not even attended the church in 6 years received an email about the offering and decided to tithe on a recent inheritance
- another individual had some stocks of an unknown value. They were sold and the proceeds given to this offering!
- A church-wide garage sale was held at the pastor's home and nearly every item was sold, unheard of!

This is just a small sample of the amazing stories. Many tears were shed as people rejoiced in God's unfailing goodness and provision.

After everything was totaled, we were all flabbergasted!! God has greatly multiplied those offerings and I am COMPLETELY, 100% funded for ALL my outgoing expenses, including a ministry vehicle!! Is God amazing, or what? I am still stunned and taking it all in.

I think the hardest part for me in this missionary process is not leaving behind my life here, for I know I'm going on a God-given adventure...it's not asking for money, because though it's not always fun, I know that it's not for me, but for God's ministry and purpose. The hardest part is knowing how to say "thank you." I feel as though by saying "thank you," I am somehow accepting the credit and the money...when it's not for me. I just feel so awkward and unworthy to receive anything! Before arriving at the church, I asked the Lord to help me know how to say thank you, even if it was for $50. He gave me Philippians 4:10-14, 17-19, with a bit of paraphrasing. I read it to the church (barely) through my tears a bit like this:

"I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble. Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that increases to YOUR credit. I have received full payment, and more. I am well supplied, having received from [church name] the gifts you sent, a fragrant offering, a sacrifice acceptable and pleasing to God. And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father [alone] be glory forever and ever. Amen."

This little blog doesn't even BEGIN to express what all is going on in my heart. I'm merely fumbling through the God-given emotions welling up in my soul, but thank you for reading and rejoicing with me! Soli Deo Gloria!

Wait, part deux

2010-09-18T21:31:00.000-07:00

Last night I read the all familiar verse, "but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint" (Is 40:31, ESV). Up until now, I've always thought of this verse applying to those who are in a race, or are exhausted to begin with. I've had a romantic image in my head of someone in a marathon ministry event needing to take a break to renew their strength, such as when I was in the Philippines last fall helping with the disaster relief clinics after Typhoon Ondoy devastated the metropolis.

However, when I read it last night it took on a whole new meaning. For some people (moi included), waiting can be exhausting. It's like putting the gas pedal to the metal while keeping your car in neutral, nothing but a revving engine. You're all revved up with nowhere to go. When someone is eager for a goal, like getting full support so I can get to Manila, the wait can be exhausting and seem endless. But that is when we are waiting on our own power. Waiting on the LORD, finding peace in His perfect timing, is energizing and renewing. Why? Because if that time is spent seeking the Lord, pouring over His Word, spending time with His body, it's impossible to NOT feel renewed and strengthened.

This is the peace I've been coming to discover. I deeply value and cherish these moments of stillness and waiting. I firmly believe it part of the process of becoming a servant. I would not want to hurry this process along, no matter how eager I am to get to Manila. There's no rushing God. He alone knows how much renewing and strengthening I need. It's up to me though, to take advantage of these moments...are you?

What to bring?

2010-09-12T20:11:00.000-07:00

NOTE: I have no idea why the text color is weird. :( Sorry!

I've had folks ask me how the clinic manages to run on bare bone finances. After all, ministry partners donate finances to pay the salary of 4 filipina midwives, utilities, basic medical supplies, and not much else. Since those the clinic serves usually live in slums and shanty shacks, their finances are bare bones, if not nil. Here's the way it works:
Patients are asked to donate about $5 for all their perinatal care, including pre-natal check-ups, health education, hematocrit testing, labor & delivery, and post-natal check-ups. When they go into labor they are asked to bring the following supplies:

2 towels (one to lay on as they deliver and 1 to clean baby)
1 baby blanket newborn outfit (onesie, booties, mittens, cap)
newborn diaper
adult diaper (cheaper than a maternity pad)
soap (to wash baby)
hot water (to wash baby)
change of clothes for mom
cotton balls & rubbing alcohol (if an episiotomy needs to be stitched and to clean injection site for Vit K shot for baby)
snacks (for family after baby is born)

Sometimes moms show up unprepared and the clinic seldom has extra supplies on hand. When we're out of these extras, we've used the mom's going home shirt to catch the baby with. Not the most ideal of circumstances. And sometimes moms cannot afford the $5 donation, but we still deliver the same care to them as we would to someone who paid the full amount.

We love it when people can help out with these basic supplies so that we can give them to the neediest. Do you have gently used baby clothes? Or perhaps you and your church or small group would like to put together layette sets! You can put together some baby towels, blankets, clothes, and then including $1 per set for the soap, rubbing alcohol, cotton, baby diaper, and adult diaper, which we can purchase in bulk for a very good price in the Philippines.

It's usually between $50-60 to ship a large box of these items right from your door to our door. If you are interested in helping out in this way, let me know and I'll be happy to send you the info.

Wait

2010-09-10T23:32:00.001-07:00

The word "wait" seems to be weaving itself in and out of my life lately. Not only am I waiting on the Lord for His perfect timing in taking me to the Philippines, but friends and loved ones are also waiting on the Lord for various reason.
I will risk saying that the majority of our lives are spent waiting. Waiting for that highly anticipated vacation to Hawaii, or Christmas morning, or birth of a child. Or sometimes it's spent in dreadful waiting, such as for the results of a lymph node biopsy or court ruling. But just as we spend the majority of our lives waiting, we spend the majority of our thoughts in anticipation, failing to fully embrace the here and now. What amazing things are happening right now that I am completely glossing over in anticipation of what is to come?
The concept of waiting is not new to believers, in fact, it's a recurring theme throughout the Word. I recently read a devotional that is simply Scripture that blessed me. While the waiting I'm doing is not painful or dreadful, it can be disheartening at times. I hope you can take courage from this like I have, because chances are, you too, are in a time of waiting.

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage.
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary...He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength. --Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. --You have been a stronghold to the poor, a stronghold to the needy in his distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat; for the breath of the ruthless is like a storm against a wall.
The testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. --Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.
(Ps 27:14. Isa 40:28, 29. Isa 41:10. Isa 25:4. Jas 1:3,4. Heb 10:35,36.)

Time to put on my running shoes!

2010-08-22T23:22:00.000-07:00

I wrapped up my last night shift on Thursday night, complete with a farewell potluck thrown by the other nurses for me. I was so delighted and full of the warm fuzzies, and not because of our recent heat wave. (Believe me, I'd rather NOT have those kind of warm fuzzies!) It's with mixed emotions that I leave the life of a night owl and prepare to wake up at o'dark-thirty.

God has certainly blessed me with some very rich friendships on the night shift; I'm going to miss those 2am coffee breaks, the breakfast for dinner Christmas party, dancing with Tam in the hallway while our patients slept, getting yummy dinner from fellow Pinoy coworkers, gleefully handing out the sleeping pills to patients, etc... There are quite a few Filipinos on the night shift and I'll really miss that.

But, switching to the day shift (on the same unit) is something I've wanted for a good 6 months. It's very hard to raise support and speak at churches and other meetings when I'm constantly recovering from working a night shift. I've felt like I'm always apologizing for an ill-timed yawn or the bags under my eyes. However, there's a good reason why the day shift crew is pretty young. There's so much more activity and running around on days. Doctors, physical therapists, occupational therapists, case managers, dietitians, and the unit manager all jockey for the patient's attention, leaving little time for the nurse to do her job. I've already been told to bring my running shoes! (My favorite being New Balance 442! ------->)

I'd love your prayers for me as I adjust to a new body clock, new coworkers, more activity, and a busier life in general. I also start my two classes tomorrow which throws a whole new dimension to support-raising.

Choosing joy!

Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O Lord, God of hosts. - Jer. 15:16, ESV

Sweet Gift!

2010-08-14T04:37:00.000-07:00

Remember this post? I mentioned some ways that people could give of their time, treasure, and talent without having to put a check in the mail. I had mentioned that I would love to bring a digital camera back to the birthing clinic so that we could take good photos of the new families.

Well, someone read that blog and God moved! I have been given a beautiful, brand-new point-and-shoot camera for ministry use. What makes it even sweeter is that the givers are a group of youth from a supporting church who have visited the Philippines on a short term trip. It was instigated by a young man who saw the clinic and wished to give something that the moms would treasure.

Right now the clinic has a 35mm camera and photos are taken of each new family before they go home after the birth of the baby. (For most of the kiddos, it’s the only baby picture they’ll ever have!) Because it’s an older model, there’s no way to preview the pictures and make sure that the photo is clear and the lighting is adequate. With a digital camera, we can only develop the great photos by previewing them first! I’m so excited about putting this camera to use! I also hope to post pictures frequently to this blog so that you all can visually follow along with the ministry. I just have to get there first. J

Since this “wish list” was so successful, I’m going to put together a permanent list of items that can be donated to the clinic. Because there are so many Filipinos here in the USA, it’s easy to ship boxes to the Philippines. It’s usually only $60-65 to send an 18x18x25” box with no weight restrictions that arrives in 6-8 weeks. ACTION has done this for years and found it to be the cheapest, most reliable way to get things into the country. I plan to send several boxes over of my personal stuff (read “junk”) when I move instead of paying exorbitant checked luggage fees.

Enjoy your weekend, my faithful friends. I plan to add some “rest” to my to-do list and hope you can get a little R&R as well!

Happy News!

2010-07-30T07:53:00.000-07:00

I'm going to join the land of the living again! I have been tentatively offered a position on the day shift within the same unit at the hospital where I work. This has been my desire for over a year now as I would love to be awake when normal people are awake and sleep while it's truly dark outside. The night shift has been pretty hard on my body and I sincerely respect all those grave-yard shift workers. There is a good reason why they get a shift differential pay!

One of the reasons why this will make my life so much easier is because I will be more available to do deputation stuff, like visit churches and small groups. I look forward to meeting folks and getting the word out there about this little birthing clinic in Manila. I've loved who God has brought into my life thus far and am excited about who is still to cross my path.

Time to hit the books again! --->
Another reason why I am excited about this move to days is that this fall I will be taking the last two classes I need to complete my second bachelors, this time in nursing. This is a huge blessing as the classes were full and wait-listed. However, God saw fit to allow me into the classes and I am truly grateful. Not sure how I will feel when I am waist-deep into a research paper, but I will try to remember my gratefulness. :)

This weekend is a bittersweet one for me. One of my dearest friends and roommate is leaving early Monday morning to teach at a missionary kid school in Rwanda for a year. I am super excited for her as this will be an awesome experience, but I'm going to miss her like crazy! We've had so much fun through our college days until now, nearly 10 years. However, I'm thankful for technology and gchat, something I'm no stranger to as I've lived across the ocean from family and friends most of my life. If you would like to follow this sweet woman of God, her blog is: jennatKICS.blogspot.com.

Thanks again for your prayers. I feel somewhat like a broken record thanking you again and again for your prayers, but I am humbly aware that without them, I would be never be considering a move across the ocean to serve the poor and vulnerable young families in Manila. I never take your prayers for granted!

Discouragement and Trust

2010-07-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not gonna lie. There are times when I get very discouraged during this whole fundraising process. It seems like it's all about the money. If I just had 100% support, then I could board a plane in a matter of weeks and be where I want to be right now. I have about 25% of my monthly budget raised, but that means I still have 75% to go.

Right now, all signs seem to point to a December departure: a vehicle is likely available for 1/2 the cost of what I was expecting to pay but only if I get there in December, my lease is up where I'm living now in December, and my airline frequent flyer status expires (which allows an additional 40lbs of luggage). But a December departure means I have to 100% of my monthly support in November. That's less than 5 little months to raise about $2000 of monthly support!

However, I know that this time of deputation is about more than just money; it's about trusting and believing God. Period. If I can't trust Him now, when all my needs are being met, how in the world is it going to work when I'm on the field and thousands of miles away from those who are partnering with this ministry?

My prayer for this season of life is to become like Paul as he wrote to the Philippian church: "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (Phil 4:11-13, NKJV).

If you think of it, please pray for trust in my heart that God will bring the necessary growth and funds to get me to the field in His timing, not my own.

First fruits and quilts

2010-06-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

In my quest to read through the Bible this year, I've been reintroduced to the beauty of the Old Testament historical books. One thing that has convicted me time and again is that God unequivocally commanded His people to give of their first fruits, their very best, in offering to the Lord (Ex 34:19-20, 35:5-9 are just two examples). My parents taught me to always set aside the tithe of my finances to the Lord first, and then divide the rest up in my budget, something I try (but don't always succeed) to do. However, what about other forms of tithes and offerings? I'm so guilty of handing God my leftovers, my scraps when it comes to my talents and time. For example, I only sign up for service projects if I have time leftover in my week from work, spending time with friends, watching my favorite TV shows, and sleeping. Or when was the last time I heard of a need for clothes for a friend or acquaintance and rather than dig through my overflowing closet for my rejects went to the department store and bought a new outfit to give?
Last August, I made a survey trip to Manila to scope out what my ministry was to be. Before I went, I talked to the missions pastor of my church about taking donated clothes for the new babies at the birthing clinic. She suggested I take baby quilts, lovingly made by a wonderful group of ladies in the church. When I saw the quilts, my heart melted. They were beautiful! I knew that these moms who lived in squalid conditions would never have the opportunity to own something as precious as this but for the generosity of some ladies in Southern California. These quilts were definitely "first fruits."
It got me to thinking, how can I make this new ministry more accessible for people to give of their time and talent and not just their treasure (money)? Flying over to the Philippines is not always an option for most people...but what about other forms of "tithe?" Some ideas I have had are:
- a new digital camera and small photo printer in order to give new families a family picture to treasure
- small photo frames for these pictures...this is something an Awana or Sunday School group can make
- more quilts!
- crocheted or knitted booties, mittens, and caps

I can't wait to get over there and give of my time, talent, and treasure for these dear people. But in the meantime, I can't forget to give of my first fruits right where I'm at.

2010-05-18T12:50:00.000-07:00

"Your real, new self will not come as long as you are looking for it. It will come as you are looking for Him."
- CS Lewis

A lousy cup of coffee

2010-05-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up knowing that I had no coffee creamer in the house for my daily cup of joe. I decided to pilfer some of my roommate's coffee creamer and buy her a new bottle when I hit the store later today. When I finally crawled out of bed to make my pot of coffee, I discovered she had used the last of her creamer too. What to do? I cannot abide black coffee and did not want to make a pajama run to the store. I remembered that our landlords had left a commercial size container of the powdered stuff and attempted to doctor up my coffee with that. Ugh, no amount of peppermint syrup or sugar could make that coffee as delicious and rewarding as my liquid creamer. But did I dump it? no, I was more than willing to down not one, but TWO huge mugs of the second-rate coffee to get my daily fix.
This reminded me of my morning devotions (which were accompanied by said mediocre coffee). For many years I have struggled with consistency, and working the night shift has made the situation worse as I don't have the same daily wake-up time. I would much rather read a novel or even a book about the Bible than read the Bible itself. However, I promised myself that I would read through the whole Bible, in order, this year. And I have loved the thirst I am developing for this rich Word of God. It seemed that the Word was like a mediocre cup of coffee with powdered creamer and other books were the more expensive cup but in recent months, that has reversed! I'm so excited to finally have that genuine thirst for God's Word that I have longed after for years. This isn't to say this cultivated taste won't last forever as I'm sure if I suddenly gave up coffee and then tried to drink it again in 5 years it would be second-rate again. However, now that I've seen the light, I hope I never give it up.
Maybe there is hope for the powdered creamer? (There needs to be as the liquid stuff is more spendy and hard to come by in Manila. *sigh*)

Exciting progress!

2010-05-11T23:18:00.000-07:00

As you may or may not know, the current facility for the birthing clinic where I hope to work is a small house that is also home to the British midwife/founder/administrator. This tiny living room and back bedroom serve as labor/delivery/recovery/pre-natal check-up/post-natal check-up/teaching/finance/ and just about any other purpose you can think of. However, it is CRAMPED! This picture shows the main room.

There is a lady in the curtain giving birth, the gal on the floor is recovering (with her baby there), and the lady on the right is having a prenatal checkup. Right behind the midwife is a scale that every now and then would be used to weigh a baby! Behind the camera was another woman in labor...yeah, it is a bit crowded (and very warm!).

Praise God that a new clinic is being built on adjacent property to house a two story clinic that will feature a labor & delivery room, recovery room, classroom, offices, guest rooms, dorm for midwives and nursing students, laundry room, ambulance bay, etc... They are now to the second level of the building frame, but funds have slowed to a trickle. More money is desperately needed to finish the construction so the clinic can move to the new building! If you would like to learn more about the clinic, please click here to view the webpage of the missionary family overseeing the construction. It is so exciting to see this dream become a reality!

A nun or 1940s Pin-up?

2010-05-11T18:36:00.001-07:00

My life isn't all about getting ready for missionary work. In fact, much of my time is devoted to working full-time as an acute care nurse in a local hospital. Life as a nurse is never dull - every patient is different and we must learn to cater our care to the needs of the patient.

One night a couple of months ago, I had an elderly gentleman who was admitted needing blood transfusions. Normally this is pretty straightforward, but this guy was deep into Alzheimers Disease and his mind lived in his days as a WW2 soldier. He kept making comments like, "well, when are you going to start?" or "You sure are pretty!" I just thought he was confused and joked with him that he needed to get his glasses checked. He started to get more adamant about me starting the show. It took me a while to figure out who he thought I was, but the light bulb flashed on when he said, "You can just get up on that table there so I can see you and start your dancing and singing for me." Oops! This poor guy thought I was a pin-up model from the moving pictures!

Then several nights ago I had a different patient who was very much alert and "with it." He had a difficult night feeling like all his rights were being impinged on. His nurse insisted on leaving his door open and set his bed to alarm whenever he tried to get out of bed because he had fallen on the floor of the bathroom the night before. This is standard protocol for "fall-risk" patients. He had none of this and tried to leave "Against Medical Advice" at midnight but his wife wasn't willing to drive 200 miles from his home to come pick him up. Oops. He eventually came to me on a different unit. I was my normal friendly self with him and explained that we couldn't force him to do anything. I changed his now unruly dressing, helped him into his pajama bottoms, gave him a midnight snack, and helped him into bed. As I was leaving he said, "Are you a nun?" Startled I said, "No, do I look like one?" To which he replied, "No, but you're just so nice."

Haha! A pin-up girl and a nun...all in a day's work for a nurse. :)

Yikes!

2010-05-05T14:07:00.000-07:00

Has it really been nearly TWO MONTHS since I last blogged. At this point I should just tuck my imaginary tail in between my legs and slink off, much like Hansel, our favorite family dog. But, I have so much awesomeness to share, that I will persist.

Last weekend was huge on my journey to become a missionary. I spoke at two events: a ladies' brunch in Desert Hot Springs and a Senior Sunday School group. Going into the weekend I felt very intimidated and unworthy. Here I was, a very young, unexperienced, green woman, trying to give a devotional to people much beyond my wisdom and knowledge (basically, a polite way of saying I was younger, they were older). What in the world could I share that they couldn't share better than me? I prayed, I waited, I asked around for ideas and got the same suggestions - just share my story. Since I've never really had a problem talking about myself, this seemed pretty reasonable.

I was utterly amazed at what came out of my mouth. It surely wasn't me speaking. I was humbled, encouraged, honored, and reminded that this journey is not my journey. Ultimately it's God's journey and I'm merely along for the ride. Who knew that my own struggles between clarity and trust would resound with so many people? And yet, why am I surprised?

Now my job is to write another newsletter in the next week or so. Praise God that I don't have to do this alone either because writing prayer letters can be pretty daunting. Now I know why it always stressed out my dad so much and was often procrastinated. :)

If you think of me this Friday, I'd love your prayers. I'm speaking to a Filipino youth group in downtown LA. Talk about going from one extreme to the other! Thanks for your prayers and for following my sporadic blog. :)

Missions Conference

2010-03-17T06:42:00.000-07:00

Every year, about this time, my alma mater, Biola University's student missionary union (the largest student-led missions organization in the country!) hosts a ginormous missions conference which all students are *highly encouraged* to attend. I only got to attend one because our choir tours used to take place during this time. However, I loved that one time. What better excuse to hob-nob with the different mission organizations, swap stories with missionaries (and everyone knows those infamous missionary stories which can take on a life of their own!), see familiar faces, and dream about all the places I'd like to go. It was more exciting for me than any job or career fair.
Little did I know that in 5 years, I would be representing one of the many missions organizations, trying to share my enthusiasm with a couple of divine appointments. Our goal is not just to recruit students for ACTION, but to perhaps be a tool to open some hearts to the possibility of serving in missions someday, whether as a "goer" or a "sender."
If you're in the area and would like to see what ACTION is doing around the world, or see ACTION celebrities, Marvin & Sara Graves, or just get caught up with the exciting happenings in missions around the world, stop on by! Our booth is the first of over 75 (it's alphabetical), and I would LOVE to see you!

A Reminder

2010-03-11T07:01:00.000-08:00

Part of the point of this blog is to be transparent. I know lots of people who are frustrated with Christians because they seem so fake. They have it all together, never have problems, know all the answers, never doubt, etc... The only time they are real is when they have been caught in a huge scandal and have fallen WAY short of the glory of God, at which point the world is either stunned and/or disgusted. I think that this is why so many pastor's kids and missionary kids rebel; they are so sick of having to put up this facade so they make a 180 a turn and make a hard run for the opposite direction. Sad, but so common.

I want nothing more to be real, honest, and utterly transparent. This means that there are times when I will share my doubts, my fears, my failures, as well as my successes, joys, and triumphs...and I'll begin now.

As with any calling or "purchase" of an idea, object, etc...doubt is often involved. How many times have you made a big purchase and later doubted it - called "buyer's remorse." And while I've never been married, I hear about lots of cold feet leading up to the big day. It's NORMAL to doubt...and I am no exception.

After making my decision to become a missionary, I've had moments of doubt such as: Is this really a calling or just a human desire for the familiar? Why am I going to the Philippines when I have a great job with great salary, security, amazing friends, family near-by, etc... Am I nuts?!?! Sometime I feel like a fraud, thinking who am I to want to go overseas and teach moms how to take care of their kids? Who am I? I have no kids, I'm not married, not to mention that I'm a relatively new nurse without too much experience.

And then God comes along and shatters those doubts. Last week I spoke for the first time about my new ministry at a small church in Indio, CA. It was a great ice-breaker for me to get some church-speaking experience because my parents spoke frequently at this church when we would come back to the US on furloughs. I am very familiar with the church and its people.

While I was there, I was approached by the leader of the missions committee, a dear lady who has prayed for me since my birth day. With tears in her eyes she told me that her small group of faithful ladies have been praying that I would someday go back to the Philippines as a full-time missionary for nearly my entire life! I had NO idea! My parents had NO idea! No one else in the church knew...this was their secret, something God had laid on their hearts to pray for over 25 years ago. When I chose to study music they became nervous that I would be tempted by the entertainment industry and decide to stay here, but they all rejoiced when I began to study nursing, knowing that this was something that the Philippines desperately needed. They became giddy every time I returned "home" to the Philippines for a visit, knowing that God was working in my heart, even if I didn't know it.

Marie has been praying for me to go back to the Philippines since I was this big!!

How can I doubt my heart's urging to return to the Philippines as a missionary when I'm told something like this?? It just confirms that God has been working all along to prepare me for "such a time as this." (Esther 4:14) Wow.

This doesn't mean that there won't be more seasons of doubting, discouragement, and even failure, but I know that God will faithfully continue to remind me of His goodness and ultimate plan for His glory in my small, insignificant life.

Copied Post

2010-02-10T02:04:00.000-08:00

I try to be original in my writings, but there are times when someone else says is so succinctly that there's just no point for me to try to rewrite it. The following is a (long) blog by Tara Livesay, a missionary in Haiti, who has opened her heart in her writings for the whole world to see, literally, as her blog has been used by CNN and other media agencies to tell the story of the tragedy in Haiti. She and her husband are missionaries in Haiti who jumped in with everything that they had after the earthquake. Her blog is definitely worth following: http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/.

Her latest entry (below) says so well what I've been struggling with. Unfortunately, missionaries have gotten a bad reputation in so many minds around the world, so much so that I often cringe when I tell people that I'm planning to become one. I often want to come up with excuses or explanations, when I should be eager to share. Tara's blog tells about the struggles of missionaries in a way I never could, and yet it's SO true. When I was doing the flood relief in Manila last October, many of her thoughts were mine...though I didn't see the same extent of tragedy that she has. Please read it...the blog's amazing!

http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/2010/02/missionary-wrestling-counseling-geology.html

MIS⋅SION⋅AR⋅Y
I grew up listening to and watching missionaries. Each summer we would go to a missionary conference where they would come from around the world to speak and share. That label, "missionary", has a different meaning for each of us. I don't know what it means to you, but based on your own experiences, it means something.

As an adolescent and even into my early adulthood, to me a missionary was an older couple that liked to talk and tell stories. Some of their stories were interesting, others sounded like Charlie Brown's Mom giving a long lecture. They wore clothing of the culture they lived in (and they looked dorky wearing it). They wore large, outdated glasses/frames. The woman had longer hair and wore it in some sort of bun-type style. They looked sun-tanned and weathered and veins popped out of their hands as you shook hands to greet them.

They talked a lot about how God provided and how joyous it was to serve Him. Sometimes they even told stories of death and war and destruction while still saying flowery things about God's plans and God's will. The missionaries almost never said that things were hard or that they could not hear God. They always knew where God was and what He was saying and they even seemed to understand why God allowed hardship in the lives of the people they were serving. They were packaged, holy, perfect people. They did not seem to have many questions. As far as I could tell they never felt lost, alone, afraid, or angry.

That was how I perceived them anyway. But that is not who I am. That is not who Troy is.

We've come to realize that a "missionary" is 100 different things to 100 different people. The label means one thing to you and one thing to me. Sometimes we don't want that label and other times we do.

Some missionaries still tell you that everything is perfect and that nothing is ever confusing or hard. Some will tell you that they love God but they don't understand the suffering and hardship that parts of the world continually experience. Some have head coverings and long skirts and some have tattoos and ripped jeans. They look different, they act different, they approach their work and faith differently. Labeling with this one word just doesn't work any longer.

WRES⋅TLING
As I have spent three (count them - three - Sunday - Monday - Tuesday) solid days wrestling with God on everything there is to wrestle with Him about; I've been all over the place emotionally.

In a period of an hour I've wished for and thought totally opposing things. I've told Him I love him, told Him I don't know if I believe in Him, told Him I have no faith in His power, told Him I trust Him to walk me through this. Thanked Him for redeeming me - for loving me, asked Him how He can be love when such suffering is allowed? I've begged Him to show himself, to speak, to become real to me - or better yet- to become real to the hungry, desperate, and dying Haitians. My anger has scared me and my thoughts have been frightening. I've ended up in the place where I began. I've run in circles. I've found my words and questions hollow and empty and maybe even immature. The distance I feel between my God and I scares me ... I want to sense Him close and yet I know whether I feel Him or not - He has not left me.

The lyrics of this song ('Faithful' by Brooke Fraser) came to mind-

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray
And I want you more than I want to live another day
And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
I still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right
So I whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tongue,
knowing you're the only one who knows me
You know me

Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want
You are all I want

coun⋅sel ing
Today I made some phone calls and sent a few emails seeking some help for Troy and I and the kids. On some level it bothered me and even felt a little bit absurd. The whole idea of trauma counseling is so very first world. The Haitian people would laugh out loud at this notion of "talking about our feelings" --- they have no time to think about how they feel, let alone the luxury of sitting down to discuss it with someone at 100 bucks a pop. Haitians suffer emotional trauma after emotional trauma without processing, without stopping, without grieving. How can you grieve when you've got to survive? When I think about this in light of my desire to stop having nightmares or my desire to go talk to a professional about things ... Well, it's just kind of humbling and embarrassing ... isn't it?

GE⋅OL⋅O⋅GY
Troy was recently asked, "As a man of faith, why do you think this happened?" He did not like that question very much. He only answered by saying something along the lines of, "That's not a fair question. (In other words - what the heck?!?!?) He wishes he'd been quick enough to answer "Plate Tectonics." When Isaac asked Hope a similar question tonight after dinner, her answer was pretty good. He said, "Why do you think was there an earthquake Hopie?" She looked at him, shrugged and said, "To shake things up?"

There is no "reason" for this earthquake - well, other than some tectonic plates moving around. That's all. It was not so a bunch of adoptive parents could get their kids home (like God loves them so much He sent an earthquake to get their kids home on Humanitarian Parole). It is not so the world would recognize and learn about Haiti (although I suppose that is good). It is not because God is punishing Haitians for something that happend 200 years ago in some Voudou ceremony (sorry Pat Robertson). The reason it happened is simple - uninteresting - laws of geology. We don't need theologians to tell us. We don't need to debate.

The things God might do as a result of it is an entirely different debate. I don't pretend to understand any of that. I am not the variety of missionary that understands everything God does or does not allow ... I am just the variety that tries really hard to trust Him while NOT understanding it. And while I don't understand, I can still pray. I am asking Him to write a new story of redemption, to bring hope to the hopeless, healing to the hurting, and beauty from the ashes.

-Tara

Have You Ever Wished...

2010-02-05T15:33:00.000-08:00

This may seem like a very odd idea, but have you ever wished that you could tattoo a visible reminder on the inside of your eyelids that you and only you can see every time you blink? If there was one thing you wanted to be reminded of at least a dozen times every waking minute, what would it be?
If I could choose a word or phrase, I think I would want "THAT moment." I was reading through Paul's letter to his disciple, Titus, this morning and chapter 2:12-13 really struck me: "training us to renounce ungodliness and wordly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ" (ESV). How many of us consistently live for THAT moment of Christ's return? How about an eternal perspective? I know I sure don't. There are so many moments, probably most moments, that I would be very ashamed to have God walk in on me doing or thinking; moments where I KNOW I am not pleasing God, but do it anyways.
If I had "THAT moment" tattooed on the inside of my eyelids, I would hope that the constant reminder would give me perspective for all my thoughts and actions. The truth is, even though it's impossible to have something like this work, we DO have something, Someone, infinitely more powerful than a little ink on the eyelids; we have the Holy Spirit. Just like we would very quickly become desensitized to a tattoo, we can become desensitized to the Holy Spirit. We reduce Him to some sort of insignificant idea instead of Someone who is the God of this universe, a very real power in our lives if we just give Him precedence (Jn 14:26, 1 Cor 2:13). He CAN be that constant reminder, but I for one all too often forget about Him and try to live for God on my own.
Just a little something to think about...

"That's Not a Prostitute"

2010-01-24T02:34:00.000-08:00

Part of the field preparation for both my church and mission agency requires reading "Cross-Cultural Servanthood" by Duane Elmer. It's taken me a while to get into this book; not because I don't think I have anything to learn but because I know I have quite a bit to learn and I'm not always eager to see the faults in myself.

It's been a quiet night on my unit and I've been able to make some really good headway into the book. One passage really struck me because I often look with disdain on people I consider "dirty." I forget that each human being, regardless of what they become, always bear the stamp of God. I've taken the time to retype the passage because I think it's that important.

"In the mid-1990s my wife and I, both teaching at a Christian college, were feeling out of touch with the needs and realities of the world. At the invitation of John Green, a graduate student, we decided to minister to people by walking the streets of Chicago one night a week for about a year. Mark Van Houten and John Green, veterans in this ministry, oriented us to street life. Walk slowly so people can approach you. Walk near the curb; alleys can be dangerous. Walk the same route each night so you become familiar with those on the streets. Read the gang symbols so you know whose turf you are on. Cross the street rather than walk around a group of people that might threaten you. We would arrive at about 8pm and slowly walk the same route each week, finally heading home about 3am.

Walking with Mark one night, I noticed a lady at the corner ahead. She was scantily clad. I turned to him and said in a voice the lady would not hear, "Is she a prostitute?" He paused; I remember thinking, Why the pause? It's obvious. Then he firmly said, "No! That's not a prostitute. That's a person...in prostitution." His profound statement affects me to this day.

When I saw this woman, I saw a prostitute. When Mark saw her, he saw a human being.

What do you think Jesus would have seen?

What made the difference in our perceptions? I tended to categorize people--homeless, drunk, drug addict, prostitute, pimp, panhandler--then I would know how to treat them: respectable vocation brings respect; disrespectful vocation brings disrespect. I decided who to accept not by the fact that they were living. Mark, however, saw the image of God in everyone in spite of their activity. This truth made everyone first and foremost a human being loved by God, accepted by Christ, sacredly endowed with dignity and worthy of being treated with respect and honor by every other human being. He accepted this person in prostitution just as Christ would." (pgs. 63-64)

When was the last time I categorically disrespected a person simply because of how I perceived them? Sadly, I do it on a daily basis. Here I am, supposedly called by God to become a servant to people the world often rejects...and I am just as guilty as the world...if not more so, because I know better! Amazingly enough though, God extends grace and reminds me that we are all works-in-progress, and that becoming aware of the problem is the first step to correction. Whew! There's still hope for every one of us. :)

How much can I handle?

2010-01-22T04:48:00.000-08:00

Last week I walked into a murder scene...

As a nurse, and a relatively new one at that, I often ask myself how much I can handle. Meaning, at what point will I be so grossed out, overwhelmed, stressed, terrified, or exhausted that I lose it? So far my career has been pretty plush. I work on a unit that's relatively cut and dry. All our patients have expected outcomes and they usually comply quite nicely. Sure, we have the confused, the belligerent, two-faced, or sorry-I-can't-understand-you patients, but with teamwork we get through it to tell the tale. But I've always wondered what my limit is.

So last week I walked into what looked like a murder scene. There was blood everywhere: on the floor, on the patient, on the couch, on the blinds, in the bed, and just about everywhere but the ceiling. My patient was sitting glassy-eyed on the couch. Fatima (name changed) looked so confused amidst the splatters and puddles of blood that at first I wasn't sure what had happened.

After alerting the other nurses that I needed some help, we donned our gloves and went to work cleaning things up so we could figure out what had happened. When I touched Fatima's shoulder, she jolted so violently I'm sure she had been sleep walking. But first you need a little background. Fatima had just arrived on my unit 4 hours before after major back surgery. She was in excruciating pain but very much awake, alert, and oriented. With strict instructions to stay in bed and call me for help, I medicated her for pain with some potent drugs that she could control but it hardly seemed to touch her pain. The OR nurse had warned me that she had high tolerance for pain medication so I wasn't too surprised. I finally decided to pull out our biggest guns and gave her a powerful shot. Twenty minutes later she was softly snoring to my relief. I checked on her every 15 minutes to make sure she was ok while I was monitoring her heart rate and oxygen level from the nurses' station. About 90 minutes later I heard a soft alarm go off in her room which indicated her pulse was high. That's when I walked into what looked like her murder scene.

It turns out that Fatima had climbed over the bedrails, pulled out her IV and surgical drains, and was sitting pretty as you please, though slightly confused, on the couch. So much for bedrest and no twisting or turning of her back!

Four nurses, ninety minutes, 100 disinfectant wipes, new sheets, new gown, and new IV later, the room was glisteningly clean with no evidence of her crime.

Nope...it wasn't more than I could handle...so the question still begs to be asked. I truly hope I never find out.

PS - I found out that this night was the calmest night of her hospital stay!!

Important Meeting

2010-01-12T22:22:00.001-08:00

Today included an important meeting with the missions committee of my home church - very exciting to begin on this journey. I've also been encouraged with three other local church expressing interest in having me come and present my dreams and ministry plans. Hopefully those plans start solidifying and I can begin making big strides towards building up the necessary support team for my big move.

Yesterday was spent completing a video for the birthing home I will be working with. To view the video, click here.

In other news, please be praying for Haiti. As you know, disaster relief is dear to my heart and the world's poorest nation is now crushed under buildings destroyed by the huge earthquake. One of my dearest friends lives just 10 miles from the epicenter where she lives and works at an orphanage for Haitian children. Preliminary reports are that everyone in the orphanage is ok, but please be praying for wisdom on how to help, stamina, financial support, and encouragement. Dana's blog is: http://danainhaiti.blogspot.com/

Thanks for your continued prayers and support. God is clearly moving me closer to the Philippines and you are a key part of that.

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T03:13:00.001-08:00

It's been a long while since I've written an entry here. I guess the saying, "no news is good news" applies in this instance. It's been a very busy last couple of months, though nothing compares to the 3 crazy weeks I spent in Manila after Typhoon Ondoy slammed through the city. Aside from the cycle of working and recovering from the night shift, I've continued to slowly but surely prepare myself for the Philippines next year. As you know, my plan is to move there full time as soon as I reach full support in order to serve at the Shalom Christian Birthing Clinic. My first newsletter went out this week to a limited mailing list. I hope to send out my first full newsletter shortly after the new year arrives. If you would like to receive this letter or would like to be added to my mailing list, please e-mail me or leave me a comment. Included in this letter will be my brand new, hot off the press prayer card! :)

Seeing that it's Christmas Eve today, I'm reminded of the whole reason I am on this earth: to glorify and honor the mighty Savior who chose to enter the world 2000 years ago in the form of a little baby born to lowly parents. It's easy to forget the majesty and honor this Savior demands and deserves when we consider He was born in a manger likely contaminated with the drool of the stable animals it served. And yet how much more filth did He carry when He took our place on the cross?

I'd like to believe that Mary was similar to many of the mothers that Shalom Christian Birthing Clinic serves: young, frightened, overwhelmed with the thought of the fragile life entrusted to her, and unsure of how to provide in a life of poverty. Scriptures don't say whether a Bethlehemite midwife attended the birth or if Joseph uneasily served the purpose. However, these sure make interesting thoughts to ponder!

My prayer for myself and for all I know is that the anticipation we feel for Christmas gifts and time with family dims in comparison to our anticipation for Christ: not just for His return, but for His working in our lives in order to more fully glorify Himself.

Merry Christmas! And in the words of Tiny Tim, "God bless us every one."

Recovery

2009-10-31T03:23:00.000-07:00

I have finally come up for air...and it's a beautiful feeling. Shortly after arriving in LA with a four hour delayed flight from Tokyo, I started my night shift back at the hospital where I work with no chance to unpack even my carry-on except for my toothbrush, deodorant, and make-up. I worked for the first three nights I was back in the US and tonight is my first night off followed by four more nights on starting tomorrow. Ahhh...the brutal life of a night shift RN.

Emotionally I am fine. I was so blessed by what I was able to be a part of in the Philippines. I have never known such joyful and resilient people. One story from the last morning of relief clinics neatly illustrates this joy and gratefulness. Each clinic was supposed to last just 3 hours for 150 patients. My goal was to have at least four doctors at each clinic, which I had found for this morning. But just hours before the clinic was due to start, I learned that two of the four doctors had become ill and could not attend. Completely understandable but it meant that it was going to be an interesting day with one clinic scheduled for 9-12 and a second clinic from 1-4. Our first location was in Lupang Arenda, an area that is still under water! As you can imagine, we saw LOTS of diarrhea, vomiting, fevers, fungus, and the like...and it was a long morning. The church had passed out tickets for 150 patients per my instructions but about 20 more showed up hoping we would finish early and they could be seen. After 5 hours of clinic (by now it was after 2pm and we were over an hour late to our next clinic where 150 more patients were waiting), we had to close up shop and scramble to our next location. As we were leaving one of the 20 surplus patients tapped me on the arm and said, "M'am, thank you so much for coming. You were not able to see my sick child, but it means a lot to all of us that you came to see us and give my people much needed care." Wow! This was a lady who had waited 5 hours in sweltering heat for her sick kid without getting seen and she was STILL grateful! How often do I wait 5 minutes and become grumpy? And most likely those five minutes are spent in air-conditioning!

I truly thank the Lord for every one of the 3000+ patients we saw at the 9 clinics we held. It was hot, sticky, smelly, exhausting, and draining, but it was also filled with joy, blessing, and continued renewal by the Holy Spirit.

However, the job is far from over. As I write this blog update, the 4th typhoon in just one month is leaving the Philippines, and this one was a direct stike on Manila. Praise God that not much rain fell, but many homes were blown down and destroyed...not to mention that every raindrop on saturated soil is bad news. There is still so much to be done! Please pray that God would raise up more people to continue the job. The team on the field is so exhausted as they have been doing non-stop recovery work in the last month, but God is able and will continue to do His work, even in our weaknesses.

Thanks for joining me in the three weeks I spent in the Philippines. It will definitely be considered a highlight of my life. I am eager to return someday soon to continue on the work there and appreciate your prayers as I raise support and seek God's wisdom in this journey. One thing's for sure, it will never be boring!

haven't forgotten

2009-10-26T07:58:00.000-07:00

It's been a crazy three weeks and I can't believe I get back on the plane tomorrow for my long trip over the Pacific back to California. I have so much to process that I am somewhat thankful for the long flight so that I can write down my thoughts.

Friday clinics went well though it was heart-breaking in many ways. Please read the following blog for a narrative from someone else's perspective of what happened Friday morning. http://cloakandparchments.blogspot.com/ There are also some pictures of the clinic as well.

I will be writing more during my flight and hope to put up some new posts soon after landing to catch everyone up on what has happened.

If you could please pray for my ears on this flight. I finally caught the cold that so many of my patients had. Praise God I didn't get it until the morning after my last clinic. God kept me healthy for the extremely busy days when I needed all the energy I could get! But I have sensitive ear canals to barometric pressure changes and am leary about the flight tomorrow. Please pray that my ears would adjust to the altitude changes well.

Thanks and check back soon for a more detailed update!

Bring your boots!

2009-10-22T15:50:00.000-07:00

A very quick post to ask for prayer for today's two clinics. We will be traveling to an area near Laguna Lake (formerly Laguna de Bay), which is still swollen and not expected to go down for some months. I was warned to bring my boots as there is still 1-2 feet of water outside the church door, though the church is dry. I'm sure there will be pictures to come!

Just two left...sort of

2009-10-21T05:39:00.001-07:00

It's hard to believe we've held 7 clinics in just 7 days! If I think I am tired, I cannot imagine how tired the team is, many of whom have been doing relief work for 3 weeks straight. Take Dave and Becky Majam. Dave is an administrator for the Street Impact Team, a part of ACTION and his wife Becky is an optometrist who also work with the SITeam full-time. They have both been very involved with these clinics, even giving up a day off to keep these clinics going. Yesterday I asked Becky if their house was clean yet as it flooded severely with the typhoon and she said that they are still working to clean it, even now! Can you imagine coming home from a long day to still find mud residue in your house? These people are truly my heroes. Forget the heroes you see in movies...these folks here are the real thing!

Today we were in an area called Tumana within Marikina. All week I've been hearing Tumana mentioned in conversations. I did not realize this was the exact area we had driven through on our survey trip two weeks ago. The pictures you see in this slide show are actually SO much cleaner than two weeks ago when the garbage was still piled so high on the streets that it was level with the roof of our truck and gave us only an inch of clearance on either side.

I saw so much filth and stench, even today, and yet the people were wonderful and so very grateful. No one was demanding or upset, just genuinely thankful for every bit of help they received. ACTION held a medical clinic this morning and then a clothing distribution this afternoon. And they could have used so much more.

One last thing: The sign above the church includes a verse from 2 Corinthians 6 which says, "I will live with these people and walk among them..." This was so very evident today in their spirit, joyfulness, and thankfulness. Even in our worst conditions, God is always with us, walking through the garbage and mud of life with me and with you.

May you be blessed.

First of 7

2009-10-19T04:48:00.000-07:00

Today was the kick off for a very busy week of clinics with two in Marikina. We saw probably around 325 patients today spread over 2 doctors and one nurse (me). We had several more nurses helping with triage at the first location which ran like clock-work. I was blessed beyond belief by this church. The mud was still over a yard deep everywhere. The sanctuary had been flooded nearly to the roof, but they had worked hard to clean it out for us and it was shiny clean today! Each and every patient was prayed with twice and had the wordless book shared with them by trained counselors. They also had a chance to be counseled for grief and loss from the flood. Next they were seen by the nurse volunteers, then by the doctors, then on to the pharmacy. It was a long and very productive morning.

Our afternoon was a sharp contrast in the mud. We were on the street again under a tarp and we saw lots of fungus, 3 cases of leptospirosis, a man with a fly-covered dog bit on his leg, and so much more! We also ran out of some medications here...and we have 5 clinics left!

Thank goodness we only have an afternoon clinic tomorrow, so my mother and I will be getting up early to drive across the metropolis to our medication supplier in order to pick up the necessary medications for the next 5 clinics.

I appreciate your prayers for our stamina, safety, emotional health, and spirit of gratitude. God is able and we will learn to trust and lean on Him in a whole new way this week.

And now I will go hug my pillow and sleep. :)

Tomorrow's Sunday...

2009-10-17T06:49:00.000-07:00

...and I will rest.

It's been a very busy week to say the least. This morning we had a wonderful clinic at a church assisted by Steve Read, another ACTION missionary and fellow missionary kid. I think it quite poetic that both Steve and I, two of the missionary coordinator's of today's clinic are MKs. What a testimony of God's continued grace through the generations! Steve, his wife Rita, and two kids (Stephen and Shannon) were there to help, along with four medical residents from a good, local hospital. My mom and many volunteers also helped to ensure the clinic ran smoothly and efficiently.

But tomorrow is Sunday and I will rest my weary body. I am thankful for this day of rest so that I can be ready for 7 clinics Monday through Friday of next week. However, it is hard not to feel at least some twinges of guilt knowing that for many in the city, there is no rest. One lady at one of our Thursday clinics said she is too afraid to go home because it is filled with snakes. Many people are complaining of snakes in their home as these types of critters are also on the hunt for dry ground.

So though the twinges of guilt will threaten to ruin my day of rest, I can also acknowledge that Jesus Himself took time to be quiet, even though there were many hurting people through His land.

I do have one major praise, though - The World Health Organization (WHO) has recently published findings on the use of zinc for the treatment and prevention of diarrhea and prevention of pneumonia. And it's relatively cheap! But, it is not available at all in the Philippines. A faithful prayer partner of ACTION contacted me early in the week asking if there was anything he could do and praise God he and his family have been able to purchase 2,500 tablets of zinc to be Fed Exed here this weekend! To use the words of his wife: God is sooooo good!